If You Only Knew
by QuirkQuirk
Summary: It's hard to love someone who has no idea that you exist. But sometimes in the end it turns out you were focusing your attention on the wrong person anyways... DoumekiWatanuki AU COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:** Hey there! Bet no one expected to see me playing around in this fandom, eh? XXXholic is actually one of my very favourite fandoms, but sadly there just isn't enough Doumeki/Watanuki fanstuff out there. So I took it upon myself to try and contribute, and this is the result! This plot bunny snuck up on me months ago and I have slaved and slaved over it, trying to get it right, and finally it is all spiffed up and ready to be posted! Hurray!

Originally I'd intended it as a oneshot, buuuuuut… it got a little out of control. XD So it's gonna be a two-shot.

**The disclaimer! **Nope, don't own it. If I did, XXXholic would update much more frequently, and the boys would be given entirely different kinds of missions, heh heh heh…

**Pairings: **Doumeki/Watanuki (one-sided Doumeki/Himawari at the beginning BUT I SWEAR IT MEANS NOTHING! PLOT DEVICE! PLOOOOT DEVIIIIICE! DON'T CLICK THE BACK BUTTON!)

**Summary:** It's hard to love someone who has no idea you exist. But sometimes in the end it turns out you were focusing your attention on the wrong person, anyways.

**Warnings:** Yaoi (boy/boy) stuffs. Although the TRUE warning (considering this is ME writing) should be of the hints of heterosexual feelings at the beginning. BEWARE! But I promise they go away. Promisepromisepromise.

**Other stuff: **Although this is not a 'songfic' in the sense that there are lyrics inserted at random intervals, this story WAS based on a song. "Tongue Tied" by Farrah, to be exact. The events of the story match up almost perfectly with the story the lyrics describe, and it's a really fun song! You should give it a listen! (it can be found on one of Asian Kung-Fu Generation's compilation albums)

**.o.O.o.**

**If You Only Knew**

**.o.O.o.**

_Tongue tied_

_I want you_

_And you know I always will_

_Inside_

_So shy_

_If only you knew what a state I'm in_

_-o-_

Watanuki rushed though his home, carefully balancing his heaping armful of homemade snacks and drinks (not to mention the phone and a few remote controls) as he stumbled into the living room. Dropping everything unceremoniously onto the floor directly in front on the television, Watanuki hastily sorted them out, first grabbing for the remote and flipping the TV on, and turning to the appropriate channel.

" – and as you can see it's quite a turnout here at the premier of Himawari's newest film, and it's already looking like it's going to be quite a hit with audiences…"

Watanuki continued to lay everything out in front of himself, but did so on auto-pilot, so that he never once had to look away from the scene. Without even looking he automatically set the snacks before himself, drinks to the right, phone to the left (so that if it rang he could just pick it right up and wouldn't have to go running down the hall to answer it) and the remotes below it. Pushing a small red button on one of the remotes, he started recording what he was watching before settling down, sitting crosslegged only a few feet away from the television's glowing screen so that he could be sure that he wasn't missing a thing.

Himawari was Watanuki's favourite star. Singer/songwriter, movie star, prestigious fashion model, animal rights activist – she could do it all. She was beautiful and charming, and had a mischievous, mystifying air about her. And Watanuki knew _everything_ about her. From her favourite colour, to her birthday, to where she was born, to her shoe size, to the kind of shampoo she favoured – he knew it all down to the very last little detail. Some might call it obsessive, but Watanuki called it love. Yes, he was in love with Himawari, and he wasn't afraid to admit it. Everything about her was perfect, and Watanuki lived for the day when he's finally get to meet her, and she would realize how much he loved her, and they would get married and live happily ever after. At least that's how it went in his imagination. In reality, he'd never once come even close to getting anywhere near her, but that was besides the point. The point was that he and Himawari were destined to end up together; he just knew it. It was fate.

Scootching a bit closer to the television screen and pushing his thin glasses up the bridge of his nose, Watanuki took in the events playing out before him. There must have been a million people who had shown up to the premier, and there were so many stars and celebrities that it was hard to keep track of. But Watanuki was only watching for one thing, one person, and the lights and sounds and people blurred before his eyes as he waited for –

"…so as tonight's premier gets underway, let us just say that we're so honoured to be a part of – Oh my God, here she is!"

Watanuki's eyes snapped over to the corner of the screen and focused on one lone figure as the cameras zoomed in. Stepping out of a long, fancy car and wearing a most beautiful and elaborate outfit – there she was. Himawari. The star of Watanuki's every dream and fantasy. Plastering himself to the screen, the dark haired boy watched her wave delicately to the gathered crowd as she stepped onto the deep red carpet that had been laid out just for her. As the cameras shifted, she looked directly into them, flashing a dazzling smile and waving to the audience that was watching her from home. Watanuki's very breath caught in his throat. She was waving right at _him_. Sighing, his blue eyes followed her every movement as she took a step forward, glancing back behind herself to the still open car door.

And that was when Watanuki got a very frustrating reality check.

Out from the car stepped a male not much older than himself. "_Doumeki_…" The disgruntled Watanuki growled, glaring at the screen. Doumeki was Himawari 's personal bodyguard/escort, and thus went with her everywhere to insure her safety. In Watanuki's obsessive collection of information about Himawari, he had picked up on a few scattered facts and figures about Doumeki, but overall Watanuki didn't care so much about learning about _him_as much as learning how it might be possible to acquire heat vision lasers so that he could _kill _him. Stupid Doumeki, always budging into the spotlight with Himawari and ruining Watanuki's until-then unobscured ogling.

Really, Watanuki thought, he wasn't so unlike Doumeki. They were both young guys, both had dark hair, they both… um… uh… Okay, so maybe Doumeki drove around in a really nice car, and had nicer hair, and he was tall, and more built, and… damn. But Watanuki bet that Doumeki guy didn't know that Himawari secretly harboured the belief that her arms weren't as shapely as she would like, or that cats were her favourite animals. Also, Watanuki bet Doumeki didn't know how much Himawari liked to occasionally indulger herself with fine wine. Why, if he ever got a chance to serve her wine, Watanuki didn't even know what he would _do_ with himself!

On the television, Himawari started walking down the red carpet, taking long, graceful strides and occasionally waving at her gathered fans. Oh, what Watanuki wouldn't give to be among them! But the premier was happening so far away, and it was a school night, and… he hadn't gotten an invite. Curses! As a result, Watanuki had been forced to settle for watching the premier from home on the television, on a local station that was covering the event live. At least this way he got to see close-ups of his beloved without being cut off by hordes of other screaming fans, right? _Yes, that was compensation enough_, Watanuki thought, taking a sip of his drink. _There was Himawari's beautiful, shining face, right there in front of – _

"GRAH!" Watanuki burst, throwing a bag of opened chips at the TV, resulting in a cascade of crunchy, golden flakes to go spilling all over the floor. But Watanuki didn't even notice – he was too busy trying to send psychic death rays to Doumeki, who had just placed his hand at Himawari 's waist, and was playing the part of a perfect gentleman, leading her down the carpet.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" Watanuki fumed, chucking a remote at the wall. "Stop touching her, you lowly escort! She doesn't love you!"

It was a good thing Watanuki lived alone, because he tended to get rather riled where Himawari was concerned. Actually, Watanuki tended to get very riled in general, but it was magnified tenfold when Himawari was involved. Bitterly watching as Doumeki led _his_ love of his life down the red carpet and into the theatre, Watanuki heaved a sigh as the theatre doors closed, shutting out any further visual of his beloved.

"And that's it for tonight, folks!" The TV announcer was saying. "If you didn't manage to catch a place at the premier, Himawari 's new movie will be opening in all other theatres tomorrow, so be sure to go and see it!" Oh yes, Watanuki was _definitely_ going to be going to see that movie tomorrow. He'd had his tickets reserved for over a month. (He would have gotten them sooner, but the theatre hadn't had the facilities to accommodate his 'must-be-first-person-in-town-with-tickets' desires, and had apparently taken issue with his desire to reserve a ticket before they were legally reservable.) Watanuki was about to turn the television off – using the remote that _hadn't_ been hurled at the wall (having left a sizeable dent that would have to be later explained if anyone was to spy it) – when one last announcement caught his ears.

"…and for all you Himawari fans aspiring to meet her in person, Himawari is going to be coming to our city on the thirtieth to promote the launching of her new fashion line! Be sure to check out details and reserve your place as soon as possible! In other local news, Green Drugstore is going to be offering…"

Watanuki's mind had gone blank. There was no _possible_ way he had just heard that Himawari – _the_ Himawari – was going to be coming to _his_ city. This… this couldn't possibly be happening! This was the moment Watanuki had been waiting for his entire life! This was it, this was his chance! All his dreams would finally be coming true!

Watanuki checked his watch. 8:55. The local ticket agency wouldn't be closing for another five minutes, and if he ran really, _really _fast, he just might be able to get his ticket tonight.

**.x.X.x.**

Time, Watanuki decided, was a cruel, cruel illusion. When you needed more of it, it always seemed to be in short supply, but when you were needing it to hurry up and just _go_, it seemed to pick that opportunity to slow down to a snail's pace. Not just a snail's pace, but a _snail stuck in molasses_ pace.

The next few weeks seemed to drag on forever for Watanuki, but finally, _finally_ the day had arrived. The day he was going to meet his future bride – the one and only Himawari. The day had dawned dismal and grey, but even that couldn't dampen Watanuki's spirits. Pulling on a heavy coat and scarf, Watanuki prepared to exit his house, making sure to remember to lock the door behind him and tuck his ticket of admission securely in his pocket. He honestly didn't care much for fashion, but if going to a fashion show was his key to meeting Himawari, then he would gladly sit through it without complaint. Besides, it was _her_ clothing line, and everything she was involved in was perfect and amazing and wonderful and perfect. And amazing and wonderful.

Pulling his faux-fox scarf up over the lower half of his face and tugging his hat down, Watanuki shivered at the cold blast of wind that greeted him as he stepped out the door. His city had such strange weather – one day it would be bright and sunny, regardless of the fact that it was the middle of winter, and the next day would dawn with nearly arctic conditions. Glad that the building that the fashion show was going to be held in wasn't that far away, maybe only a fifteen minute walk, Watanuki hurried off in its general direction. True, he was going to be _hours_ early, but it would be worth it when he was right up front next to the stage looking at Himawari in person.

About halfway there, Watanuki was struck with acute paranoia, and felt compelled to make sure his ticket was still in his pocket. Unzipping his jacket partway despite the cold, and sticking his hands into the warm, linen-lined inner pocket, Watanuki experienced a brief moment of pure panic when he couldn't feel the small slip of paper where he had put it. Gasping, Watanuki quickly clenched and unclenched his fingers, attempting to find it, and after only a few seconds felt the brush of paper against his skin. Breathing a sigh of relief, the dark haired boy withdrew his hand, clutching the ticket tightly and bringing it in front of his face. "Don't scare me like that!" He reprimanded, giving the slip of paper a little scolding shake.

That's when time stopped. Somehow, some way, as he gave that piece of paper that reprimanding little shake, it managed to slip _ever so slightly _in his grip as a gush of wind simultaneously blew by, ripping the precious little slip out of his hand.

"NO!" Watanuki cried, taking after it as it was blown about by the wind. "NO, COME BACK! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!"

Unfortunately, whenever people proclaim that 'this isn't happening', it is indeed happening, and is usually quite unfortunate to boot. So as the situation was indeed occurring, Watanuki had no choice but to continue to run down the street, crashing into trash cans and parked cars as the blustery wing carried his precious ticket this way and that. Once or twice, it was almost within his grasp once more, only to be cruelly pulled away at the last minute, just as his frozen fingers were just about to clasp it. In one last, desperate attempt to retrieve his ticket, Watanuki launched himself at it just as it was caught up by a rush of air, propelling himself forward and into the street, where he fell right onto his stomach, knocking the air right out of him as a car swerved, honking, to avoid hitting him. The feel of paper brushed up against his fingers for a brief, shining moment, before being swept away in the pull of air the car had created. Watanuki watched, horrified, as the ticket was sucked directly under the car's tires, pulled down into a puddle and run over.

Slowly, as if in a daze, Watanuki pushed himself off the ground and took a few hesitant steps forward, glancing down. There, in the puddle, was what was left of his ticket – a little glob of mushed and ripped paper that wasn't even recognizable for what it had once been. Tears welled up in his blue eyes as Watanuki took a few deep, steadying breaths…

…before he collapsed to his knees and let out an anguished, reverberating sob.

"What did I do to deserve this?" He asked the heavens. "What have I ever done? I'm a good person! I go to school and I'm nice to animals, and I've never done anything illegal! All I wanted was to see Himawari in person and tell her how much I love her, and this is what I get? THIS ISN'T FAIR!"

Having his little mini-breakdown in the middle of the street for a few more minutes (happy that no one was around to tell him that _life_ wasn't fair, and to just suck it up) Watanuki finally decided that he was going to have to take action. He _would_ see Himawari, if it was the last thing he ever did! Standing up and brushing the damp gravel off of his pants, Watanuki took off running in the direction of the fashion show, determined to see the love of his life.

**.x.X.x.**

A few minutes later, and Watanuki was wishing he hadn't decided to _run_ all the way to the fashion show. It had started raining again, so not only was he soaked, but his legs ached, his lungs felt like they were on fire, and every breath he drew caused extreme agony. But _damnit, he was going to see Himawari!_

Apparently others besides him had decided to opt on the safe side and show up a few hours early, because when he finally arrived back outside the fashion show building, there were already a few dozen people lined up outside. Watanuki internally cursed his luck, but it was still early, and he could still get in and get a good place if he figured out his ticket dilemma.

"O…one ticket fo…for the show… please." The dark haired boy panted to the girl behind the ticket counter. She was a cute girl with short brown hair and large, soft eyes who he recognized from his school, and he would have remembered his manners and made polite conversation if he hadn't been so distraught at the moment.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" The girl replied, sounding like she genuinely meant it. "But we've been sold out for weeks! I'm just here for information…"

"I… what?" Watanuki asked, the information not sinking in.

"I… I'm sorry…" The girl repeated, nervously tugging on a lock of hair. "But we don't have any more tickets…"

"I… okay…" Watanuki distractedly replied, trying to organize his thoughts. "Well don't you have a record of who bought them? I… I lost my ticket and I _really_ need to get in to this show…"

"I understand…" The girl replied, sounding pained. "But… I'm afraid that we didn't keep a record of the tickets sold… I… I don't really have any way to verify that you bought a ticket…"

"But I _DID!" _Watanuki cried, anguished. "I did! I bought it weeks and weeks in advance!"

"I… I believe you…" The girl assured him, looking unsure of the situation. "But I just… I don't think there's anything I can _do._"

"But… I… I… okay…" Watanuki replied with resignation. "Thanks anyways." He added in a hollow voice as he made his way around the side of the building, back to where the crowd was starting to gather.

"Sorry…" The ticket counter girl called after him, and Watanuki waved a hand politely, but didn't bother to turn around or reply.

Watanuki sat down on a bench in the park across the street from the fashion show. As the hours passed, and everyone started to show up, Watanuki contemplated what on earth he could have done in a past life to deserve this. As it got dark, and the falling rain became illuminated by the glow of the streetlights, Watanuki wondered if this was some sort of test from the gods. But as the doors opened and people were admitted in, Watanuki decided that come hell or high water he _was _getting into that show!

As the line diminished as everyone entered the building, Watanuki took advantage of the fact that everyone seemed distracted with what was going on out front and snuck his way around the back of the building, back into the alleyway that ran behind it. Passing a few dumpsters and a couple rummaging rats, Watanuki spotted what he was looking for – a small overhang that sheltered a back entrance to the building.

"Yes!" He whispered triumphantly to himself, mentally giving himself a big pat on the back for his own ingeniousness. Slinking over to the door and using the light of the flickering lamp that was affixed to the wall nearby, Watanuki grasped the handle, turned it, and pulled.

Nothing.

"No, come on!" He pleaded, whipping a few damp strands of black hair out of his eyes. "Please open!" Grasping the handle in both hands, Watanuki furiously tugged and pulled, even enlisting the help of his foot to give a swift, painful kick, but to no avail. "No, no, no, no, no!" He chanted, pounding his fist against the door. "I _have_ to get in! It's destiny!" Watanuki insisted, punctuating his words with occasional pounding. "Dear God, if you're up there _please_! Just send me a sign!"

"…Can I help you?"

God?

Watanuki whipped around, wet strands of hair flipping into his eyes once again, but he paid them no heed. He was momentarily blinded as a bright flashlight was directed right at his face, and Watanuki could see the silhouette of someone who looked like a security guard of some sort standing behind the light. Panic gripped him as he realized that he had been caught trying to break in, and he sank to his knees, clasping his hands together and offering them up to the person who had caught him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He spouted. "I promise I wasn't trying to do anything wrong, I just _need_ to get in to that show! I _have_ to see Himawari, you don't understand!"

The person who had caught him didn't immediately respond, and Watanuki could only assume that he was being sized up. He tried to make himself look as pathetic and non-threatening as possible, hanging his head and letting the rain fall on him, seeping through his already sopping wet clothes and soaking him to the bone. He allowed himself to shiver a little to add some dramatics to the situation.

"Hn."

The bright light was suddenly turned off, and Watanuki risked looking up at his captor. Gasping, he rose to his feet, pointing an accusatory finger at the person standing before him.

"YOU!"

In return for this not-so-eloquent outburst, Watanuki received a roll of the eyes from the person he had mistaken as a security officer. "Yes. Me."

"No, you… you don't understand!" Watanuki insisted. "You… you're Doumeki!" The taller male adopted a slightly befuddled expression upon hearing this.

"I don't understand that I'm Doumeki?"

"That… that's not what I mean!" Watanuki elaborated. "It's just that you… YOU!"

"Me." Doumeki said once again, at this point seemingly amused by Watanuki's inability to form coherent sentences.

"You… you're Himawari's personal bodyguard escort person!" Watanuki finally got out. "You _know_ her!"

"I do." Doumeki stated, crossing his arms over his chest and adopting a pose that encouraged Watanuki to get to his point.

Watanuki could easily say he'd never been happier to see Doumeki, either on TV or, in this case, real life. And he could say this quite easily because he had never once been even remotely _close_ to being happy to see Doumeki before. Ever. But now he reached out to the taller male like a lifeline, placing a hand on either broad shoulder, gazing up at him imploringly, blue eyes melting into a pair of golden amber ones. " _Please_!" the smaller male pleaded, his eyes wide and imploring. "Please, I _need_ to meet Himawari!"

"Oh? And why is that?" Doumeki asked back, curiously looking at Watanuki's hands on his person, not seeming to be able to decide what he thought of it.

"Because…" Watanuki began, trying to formulate a reply. How could he possibly express all the things Himawari meant to him? But he had to, somehow, because this might be his only chance! Taking a deep breath, and sliding his hands down Doumeki's shoulders to grip his upper arms, squeezing slightly to accentuate his point he confidently replied "Because I… I love her."

Doumeki quizzically looked him over, scrutinizing him, and Watanuki gave the older male his best puppy face, hoping to sway him. "You _love_ her?" He echoed after a moment, and Watanuki nodded furiously in affirmation. "Have you ever even _met _her before?"

"Well… no…" Watanuki admitted. "But… but I just do, okay? Can't you understand that?"

"Not really." Doumeki honestly replied.

"Well I _do_." Watanuki reiterated, in case he had somehow failed to get his point across thus far. "And I _need_ to meet her."

"So why didn't you just get a ticket to the show?"

Watanuki's jaw went slack at the irony of the situation, but he was able to old himself back from an outburst and reply with an explanation. "I _did_ get a ticket, I got a ticket weeks in advance, before anyone else, but on my way over here… urgh, you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but suffice to say I lost my ticket, and they were all sold out and I… _I just need to see her! _It's fate!"

"Fate." Doumeki echoed in a disbelieving voice.

"Yes!" Watanuki insisted. "Fate! I know it's fate, because I went to some sort of weird fortune telling, wish granting shop or something! There were these freaky-annoying little girls that ran around, and then the shopkeeper woman made me hold some huge, jewel-adorned black rabbit and make her food, _but I did it so that I could find out that it was my fate to meet Himawari and fall in love and live happily ever after_!"

"That's what the woman said?" Doumeki asked, raising an eyebrow. "That all that was going to happen?"

Watanuki opened his mouth to form an indignant reply before shutting it again. Well… no, that hadn't been _exactly_ what the woman said, but it had been close. "She… she said I would meet Himawari, and through her I would find love…"

"Well that doesn't necessarily mean that you'll find love _with _her, does it?" The taller boy pointed out.

"SHUT UP!" Watanuki shot back, shivering. The rain was starting to come down even harder now, flecks of raindrops were covering his glasses and fogging them up so that he could barely even see. Urgh, how was Doumeki just _standing_ there?! Was he impenetrable to the elements or something? "Yes it does! It means that I'm going to meet Himawari and fall in love! That's why you need to let me in!"

Doumeki looked Watanuki over once more, taking in the soggy black hair, completely soaked clothing, and pathetic but determined pout. Watanuki noted with some indignation that a corner of the taller male's mouth twitched up into a smirk for a moment before his golden eyes met back up with Watanuki's blue ones once more.

"You're soaking wet."

"I _know_ I'm soaking wet!" Watanuki snapped. "Thank you so much for reminding me."

"Come on." Doumeki said, reaching out and clapping a hand to Watanuki's shoulder, giving him a gentle shove backwards. "Get under the overhang or you're going to die of a cold."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Watanuki grumbled, but allowed himself to be led underneath the overhang that jutted out over the back entrance, out of the pouring rain. Doumeki stood next to him, leaning back against the door and crossing his arms over his chest.

For a few minutes the two males stood in silence, Watanuki silently fuming and thinking that this jerk Doumeki was _never_ going to take him to Himawari, and just make him stand out here in the rain like a fool for the rest of the night. That would be just like him. That cruel, uncaring –

"Are you cold?"

"What?" Watanuki shifted his gaze back up to Doumeki, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"I just asked if you were cold." The older male responded with a shrug.

"Well so what if I was?" Watanuki quipped. "What does it matter to you?"

"I was going to offer you my coat."

Watanuki's eyes widened in surprise, and he looked away with a blush. "I'm fine."

"Whatever you say." Doumeki replied, and the two lapsed into silence once more.

Unfortunately for Watanuki, Doumeki's comment had only served to make him aware of just how cold he really was. He tried to keep his limbs from shaking, and his teeth from chattering, but he couldn't help it. Bringing his hands up to rub up and down his arms, Watanuki attempted to get a little warmth and circulation back into them. It didn't do much good, and only a few seconds later he simply resorted to wrapping his arms around his torso and concentrating on not shaking so much. He failed miserably.

_Thwump._

Watanuki looked up as a large coat was dropped over his shoulders. Doumeki was still staring straight ahead, but he was now coatless. Well darn, Watanuki hadn't even noticed him taking it off. As much as it pained the smaller brunet to admit it, the coat _was_ nice and big and warm. Damnit. Now he was indebted to that infernal Doumeki.

"Thanks." He mumbled, looking down at his feet as he hugged the coat closer to himself. A low 'hn' was all he got in reply, and Watanuki scowled down at the ground. What a weird guy!

After a few more minutes, Watanuki was able to stop focusing on the cold, and able to once again start thinking about the reason he was here in the first place. "Standing around here in the rain isn't getting me any closer to meeting Himawari, you know."

"We can't go in now, the show's already started."

Watanuki glared up at Doumeki. "Well I'm sure you have a key or something, right?"

"Yeah, I have a key."

Watanuki waited for a moment before realizing that Doumeki wasn't planning on elaborating on that statement. "…but?" he prompted.

"_But_ I'm not going to just let you barge in there in the middle of the show and make a scene." Doumeki finished, causing Watanuki to scowl.

"Well then what am I _supposed_ to do?" He asked. "Just stand out here in the rain until your predictions come true and I die of a cold?" Doumeki actually had the nerve to snerk at this, and Watanuki's glare only intensified. "Oh, so you _want_ me to die of a cold? That's just like you."

"Just like me?" Doumeki questioned. "How would you know, you've never even met me before."

"Well I've _seen_ you." Watanuki informed him. "And I could just _tell_."

"You're one weird kid."

"I'm not a kid!" Watanuki snapped. "I bet I'm about the same age you are, you big ugly jerk." Doumeki didn't have a reply to this, but for some reason a self-satisfied smirk settled on his features and Watanuki huffed in annoyance. _'Fine. Be that way.'_ Watanuki thought. _'Two can play at that game.'_

After that the two settled into an awkward silence, broken only by the occasional sniffle of sneeze from the smaller, sufficiently more soaked of the pair. Watanuki wasn't sure why he was still standing there with that jerk Doumeki, but chalked it up to his stubbornness to not simply give up and go home. It proved to be a difficult task, however, as the exhaustion of his day's exertions began to weigh on him. That, coupled with how infuriatingly warm and cozy Doumeki's coat was, started to lure Watanuki into a sleepy haze, and he found his head nodding, only to stubbornly jerk it up again a moment afterward.

An indistinguishable amount of time later, Watanuki found himself slumped against the side of something firm, but not altogether hard and uncomfortable. Blearily blinking his eyes and realizing he must have truly fallen asleep that time, the dark haired boy looked to his side, only to find that he had been leaning right up against –

"DOUMEKI!"

The taller boy jerked a little in surprise at this, looking to the side and down at Watanuki. "What?"

Watanuki suddenly recoiled as if he had been burnt. "You… you… what the hell are you playing at?!"

"Playing at?" Doumeki asked, sounding puzzled.

"Yeah!" Watanuki shot back. "You… you why was I leaning up against you?"

"You tipped over when you fell asleep standing up." Doumeki explained, quite reasonably (much to Watanuki's annoyance.)

"I… well… why didn't you push me off?!" Watanuki accusatorily questioned.

"You'd rather I push you off and let you fall over onto the wet ground than allow you to lean up against me?"

"Well… no. But –"

Just then a loud banging noise sounded from around the front of the building, followed by people talking excitedly amongst eachother. A moment later and Watanuki could see them walking down the sidewalk, covered by raincoats and umbrellas as they headed home.

"The show's over!" the smaller dark-haired male bemourned. "And I missed it! And it's all your fault!" Doumeki rolled his eyes as Watanuki stood purposefully in front of him, hands on his hips and looking very indignant and silly in the oversized trenchcoat that had been placed over his shoulders. "Thanks to _you_ I missed my once in a lifetime opportunity of meeting Himawari and falling in love and living happily ever after! Why would you do that to me, you great big –"

"Doumeki? Oh good, you're here."

Watanuki whipped his head around as the back door he and Doumeki had previously been leaning against was pulled open, and a girl's head tentatively peeked through. Long, flowing tendrils of curled locks flowed from either side of her head, tied up in pretty ribbons, and she wore a long, heavy coat over an elegant dress. Watanuki's jaw dropped.

"Hi…Hima…Himawari-chan…"

The girl delicately turned her head to the side, only just noticing Watanuki's presence. "Oh. Hello there. Are you a friend of Doumeki's?"

Somewhere in the back of Watanuki's brain he knew that he should be coming up with an answer of some kind. That was the appropriate response to someone asking a question, right? Right?! So why couldn't he do anything more intelligent that just continue to stand there and gape like some idiot fish?

"Watanuki wanted to meet you." Doumeki informed the beautiful girl in the doorway. "But apparently he couldn't get in to the show."

"So he waited out here in the rain with you all this time?" Himawari asked. "That's so sweet! It's very nice to meet you, Watanuki!" Himawari giggled cheerily, extending her hand to him.

_What now, what now?_ Watanuki's brain was asking, working in overtime. _She's offering her hand… she wants me to shake it... WHAT DO I DO?!_

Watanuki somehow managed to work up the nerve and motor skills to reach out with his own hand, shakily placing it in Himawari's. The girl gave another cute little giggle as she shook it, and Watanuki repressed the urge to faint. A slight whimper escaped his lips, however, and out of the corner of his eye he saw that bastard Doumeki smirking at him.

"Well Watanuki," Himawari said, and the dark haired boy couldn't help but inwardly swoon at how perfect his name sounded coming from her lips. "It was very nice meeting you, but I have to be going. Was there anything else you wanted?"

"I… I…" _CURSE YOU, LIPS! FORM WORDS!_

"I think he wanted your autograph." Doumeki supplied, both helpfully and annoyingly smugly at the same time. Damn him for finding amusement at the situation!

"Oh! Of course!" Himawari brightly responded, reaching into her purse and pulling out a pen. "What did you want me to sign?"

_Sign! Sign! Give her something to sign!_

Mutely holding out his arm, Watanuki got out a garbled sort of reply, and luckily Himawari interpreted it enough to understand that this was what he was presenting to be signed. "Hee hee, alright." She politely laughed, pushing his sleeve up and pulling the cap off the pen, signing his arm with a flourish and dotting the i's in her name with little hearts. Her hand held Watanuki's arm steady, and the dark haired boy was surprised he didn't pass out from the contact.

It was all over in a few moments, but Watanuki continued to stay there, frozen in place, even as Himawari wished him a parting farewell. "It was really nice meeting you, Watanuki! I'm glad you and Doumeki are friends! Maybe I'll see you again sometime!" _What? No, wait! She was __**leaving**_Watanuki felt his heart hallow out at the very thought. "Bye!"

And with that she was gone.

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHH!" Watanuki screamed as he broke out of his spell, falling to his knees. "I MET HIMAWARI-CHAN! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I'M NEVER WASHING MY ARM AGAIN!" Panting heavily from the exertion, Watanuki glanced down at his arm, memorizing the graceful flow of ink that now adorned it. As the initial shock of what had just transpired wore off, Watanuki found himself replaying the events in his mind. The more he thought about it, and the more he came out of his star-struck stupor, the more he realized something…

"WHY DIDN'T I SAY ANYTHING?!" he shouted, threading his fingers through his dripping locks of hair, fisting and pulling in frustration. "I just… what the hell? I just stood there like an idiot! And… and… THAT STUPID DOUMEKI JUST STOOD THERE AND LAUGHED AT ME! GRAAAH!"

Pounding a fist against the ground (the fist not attached to the arm Himawari had signed), Watanuki growled at his social ineptitude. Or rather, his star-stricken tendencies. Darnit, now Himawari probably thought he was a complete idiotic star-struck loser. And that _stupid_ Doumeki! How did that guy manage to be so _infuriating_!?

A sleeve slid down his arm, covering his beloved's autograph, and he automatically moved to push it back up, but paused halfway upon noticing something.

Damn it all to hell, if this whole situation couldn't have gotten any more awkward than it already was!

He still had Doumeki's coat.

**.x.X.x.**

The next morning Watanuki woke up late, and with that strange sense of _'I know something is different, but I just can't figure out what…'_ After only a few more minutes of sitting in bed, staring at the ceiling, it all came back to him. Trudging back home in the rain, throwing off stupid Doumeki's jacket the moment he got in the door, tying a plastic bag over his arm before taking a shower so that Himawari's autograph didn't get washed off… and finally collapsing in bed with complete and utter exhaustion.

Sitting up, Watanuki pondered over how address the matter at hand. Obviously he had to meet Himawari again while she was still in town. Obviously. Not just because it was fate, but because he had to find some way to get Doumeki's freaking jacket back to him. Watanuki _hated_ feeling indebted to people. But how to get ahold of that jerk so that he could return it? Hmmm… Maybe going back to the building the fashion show was held in would help; maybe someone there knew where Himawari was headed next. Wherever she was, Doumeki was bound to be as well, Watanuki thought grimly.

After a quick breakfast, Watanuki tugged on one of his own coats, throwing Doumeki's over his shoulder and heading out. It took a while to get to the fashion show building, but as it finally came into view, Watanuki quickened his pace, eager to find out if someone there could help him out. To his surprise, when he came to the ticket/information window, the same girl as was there the previous night was once again working.

"Um, hi…" Watanuki greeted awkwardly.

"Oh! Hello!" the girl brightly responded. "Watanuki, right? Were you able to get into the show last night?"

Ah, so the girl recognized him from school as well. "Uh, yeah, no, I wasn't… But um, I was wondering if you had any information on where Himawari is going to be next, for any sort of event or something?" The girl (what was her name again? Something with an S? Oh well, it didn't matter) flipped through some papers before looking back up a moment later, shaking her head sadly.

"I'm sorry, we don't. Maybe you could contact her representatives, or see if there's some sort of list of scheduled events?"

"No, I… I'd know if there were any." Watanuki replied, not seeming to come off as a know-it-all, but realizing that it sort of seemed that way anyways. "I just… oh well. Thanks anyways."

"You're welcome..." The girl replied as Watanuki turned to walk away.

Well _now_ what? Watanuki wondered as he walked down the sidewalk, scuffing his feet in irritation. How on earth was he supposed to find them now? They could be _anywhere_, it wasn't as if the sky was going to just open up and drop Himawari and Doumeki out of the sky so he could have a second chance at confessing his love, and returning a stupid jacket.

"Hey."

Startled, Watanuki turned to where the greeting had come from, his eyes widening in disbelief before turning to a glare. _Oh, so apparently the gods were willing to come through with __**half**__ of his seemingly completely impossible suggestion. Great, thanks a lot higher powers._

"You." Watanuki responded, pointing a finger at Doumeki, who was standing in the alley again, and had a large box propped up on his hip, a box that Watanuki was secretly sure he'd never even be able to lift.

"Me."

"Don't get all smart with me." Watanuki warned him. "I just came to return your jacket."

"Oh?" Doumeki replied with a half smirk. "You didn't have to do that."

"Yes, well I did anyways. I didn't want to keep it, it's yours." Watanuki snapped, holding the jacket out. "So take it back so I can leave." Doumeki seemed to think this over for a minute, before further shifting the box so that he could reach a hand out to take the jacket.

"Thanks."

"Whatever." Watanuki replied, turning and purposefully striding off in the opposite direction.

"Hey…"

Watanuki sighed. What was it now? He just wanted to leave and go home and sulk about how empty and useless his life was without Himawari in it. "_What?_"

"I'm having lunch with Himawari in a bit, did you want to come?"

Needless to say, Watanuki put up with flitting around after Doumeki for a while longer, if only for the promise of seeing his beloved again sometime in the near future. He helped cart some last-minute things from the stage back to a van, and steadfastly refused to acknowledge that Doumeki was much better at carrying stuff around than he was. Having to put up with this was worth it, however, when after only a little while Doumeki declared that they were done, and started heading off in a random direction, looking back to see if Watanuki was going to follow him.

Trotting along at the elder male's heels, Watanuki kept glancing up to Doumeki to see if he was going to say anything. But it seemed as though Doumeki was content with just staring straight ahead and leading Watanuki off to who-knows-where, without a single decent conversation along the way. Not that Watanuki _wanted_ to talk to the jerk or anything, but the guy could at least show some manners.

"Where are we going?" Watanuki asked.

"To meet Himawari." The taller male supplied. "That's what you wanted, right?" There was an almost bitter tone to the words, and for a split second Watanuki almost felt bad for tagging along and imposing. It only lasted that millisecond though, for in the next moment he was back to thinking about meeting the love of his life.

"Yes." He replied. "It is. I was just wondering where we were going _specifically._"

"To The Piffle."

Watanuki was momentarily taken aback. Funny name aside, The Piffle was one of the most upscale hotels for miles around. It, of course, made sense that that was where Himawari would be staying, but Watanuki had never even considered himself worthy to so much as step in the doors before, and certainly hadn't ever expected to be brought there by _Doumeki_ of all people.

The rest of their walk passed in silence, before they finally came to the aforementioned hotel building. It was _huge_. Watanuki looked skyward, but found that he couldn't see the top, even if he squinted. Granted, he was right below the towering building, and it was a rather overcast day, but still – the building was impressive nonetheless. When they got to the door, Watanuki made as if to grab the handle bar and pull it open for himself, but Doumeki was quick to intercept him, pulling it open and gesturing for Watanuki to go ahead. Blushing and glowering slightly at the girly treatment, Watanuki went on in and waited for Doumeki to follow after him so that he could be led in the right direction.

Looking around, Watanuki was slightly intimidated by the sheer lavishness and utmost quality of his surroundings. Shiny, polished floors glinted up at him, reflected off of the glimmering golden chandeliers that hung from the high ceilings. People in pressed uniforms scurried about, carrying luggage for guests, answering phones and tending to schedules behind desks, and occasionally pruning some of the flourishing ferns and blooming ivy plants that were scattered about. He felt as if he had no right to be in such a nice place. But as Doumeki quickly headed off towards the elevators, Watanuki had no choice but to follow. Watching as the taller male hit the button for the 21st floor, it only took a minute for the light above the doors to turn on, a little 'ding' alerting them to the fact that the elevator was ready. As the sliding doors opened, Doumeki stepped in first, Watanuki following right after him. Well this was going to be awkward… riding up twenty one floors in an elevator alone with Doumeki.

In the near silence (apart from, of course, the mechanical whoosh of the elevator as it ascended) Watanuki contemplated the situation. Doumeki only held his interest for so long, so he turned his gaze instead to his surroundings. Even the inside of the elevator was beyond compare, with mirror walls and polished metal. The buttons glowed brightly, and a little counter over the door informed them to their progress, floor-wise. Suddenly Watanuki's stomach gave an uncomfortable drop, and it had nothing to do with the fat that they were several stories up. He felt so wretchedly out of place. What was Himawari going to think when she saw him here, compared to such extraordinary surroundings? Would she ever see him as anything more than some stupid, lovesick fan? Because he knew it was more than that, he knew that his love for Himawari was real, but… what if she didn't see it back? But then again, she had to, didn't she?

Because it was fate… right?

Watanuki's attention turned back to Doumeki once again, to get himself off that rather depressing train of thought. What was so great about that guy anyways? Sure, he was tall, and he had nice hair, and startlingly intense gold eyes, and a nice build, and he was the strong, silent type, and he had never really done anything _too_ bad in Watanuki's presence… but the guy was still a jerk! Why did Himawari bother hanging around him enough to choose him for her escort or bodyguard or whatever he was? Doumeki abruptly turned to look back at Watanuki. Their eyes met for a moment, and Watanuki was about to give an indignant huff of frustration and look away when –

With an annoyingly startling 'ding', the elevator doors opened once again, leading out into a wide, but very short hallway devoid of any doors save for one at the very end. It was almost like an entry way of sorts, not a hallway to a hotel room.

"Um, where are we?" Watanuki questioned in confusion, looking around as he stepped out of the elevator.

"The twenty first floor." Doumeki informed him, striding across the short expanse of the… wherever they were. Sighing at Doumeki's completely unhelpful response, Watanuki trailed after him, watching as the other dark haired boy unceremoniously shoved a key into the one door, unlocking it and pulling it open.

Suddenly Watanuki understood why there was only one door. The room they had previously been in _had_ been an entryway, and it was in fact the entryway to the _entire floor_. Yes, it seemed as though the suite that Himawari was staying in took up an entire floor. Watanuki should have figured. She deserved only the best after all!

"Doumeki, is that you?" a clear, feminine, voice rang out from one of the adjoining rooms. A moment later and Himawari was coming around the corner, dressed in a simple, light skirt/blouse outfit and looking radiant. "Oh! It is you! And you brought your friend!"

Now if Watanuki could pick one single thing to dislike about Himawari, it would be the fact that she kept referring to he and Doumeki as friends. Which of course would never happen, ever, and he really didn't even know where she had gotten that idea in the first place. But really, it was only a mild irritation, and Watanuki would never dream of correcting her, or counting it against her.

"How are you today… Wata… Wa… um, remind me of your name?" Himawari politely inquired.

"Wa… Watanuki." The dark haired boy choked out, determined to be more coherent that the previous night. "It… uh… I… nice to, er, see you. Again."

Himawari giggled. "Nice to see you too. You're just in time for lunch, although I'm afraid we're having a little trouble getting room service. It seems as though everyone is very busy right now, and I told them it could wait."

"Wait…?" Watanuki started, everything suddenly becoming a hundred, no a _thousand_ times clearer. "You… you need help getting lunch?"

"Oh no!" Himawari replied with the wave of the hand. "I just didn't want to trouble them right now, so it will just take a little while for us to be able to tell them what to bring us, and for them to be able to do so."

_His Himawari was always so considerate, not wanting to bother anyone!_ "I… I can cook…" Watanuki said, eyes wide and hopeful. "If you have ingredients, I could make us lunch…"

"Oh _could _you?" Himawari replied, sounding delighted. "That would be wonderful, I'm sure you're an excellent cook!" Watanuki just nodded dumbly as Himawari frolicked off in the direction of the mini-kitchen, Doumeki following after her. Watanuki somehow managed to get his dumbstruck body working enough to follow after them.

It didn't take long for Watanuki to find enough ingredients to make a simple but tasty lunch. Himawari fussed over the situation for a bit before leaving him to it, but Doumeki stayed behind.

"What are you doing?" Watanuki grumbled, digging out a mixing bowl from a cabinet. "Aren't you going to follow after Himawari?" Doumeki shrugged.

"I thought I'd stay and watch you make the food."

"Whatever, just don't get in my way." Watanuki responded. What a freak Doumeki was, to want to stay in here and watch him make food instead of spending time with Himawari. Oh well, that was his loss.

Watanuki lost himself to his cooking and preparing, so much so that when it was finally all done and ready to be brought out to the table, he got a most shocking surprise at seeing Doumeki still sitting on the counter right behind him, still observing him. Okaaaaay… that was a little weird.

"Stop staring." Watanuki snapped. "And help me set the table for Himawari."

Doumeki, surprisingly enough, complied with this demand, and brought out plates and utensils to arrange out on the table. Himawari had been busy reading some sort of magazine on the couch, but came bounding over when she saw that lunch was ready.

"Oh, it looks absolutely wonderful!" Himawari praised, and Watanuki was sure his face turned half a dozen shades of red.

Just as the three were setting down and preparing to dig into their meals, a loud and jostling ringing came from the corner of the living room area.

"I've got it." Doumeki declared, pushing his seat out and heading leisurely over to the phone. Picking it up with a gruff hello of some sort, Doumeki was silent for a minute, listening to whoever was on the other end, before heading back over to the table and handing the phone to Himawari before sitting back down next to Watanuki. "It's for you."

_Of course it's for her._ Watanuki thought. _Who would call for Doumeki when they could call for __**her**_

Another minute of silence passed, broken occasionally by the muffled conversation on the other end of the phone, and Himawari's occasional words or sounds of affirmation and approval. Finally, after a polite "thank you, goodbye", Himawari was hanging up the phone, looking up to Watanuki and Doumeki with an apologetic expression.

"I'm so sorry, that was an important call, and I have to go right away…" Doumeki stood up as if to join her, but she hurriedly waved him off. "No, no, it's not a big deal, but I do need to go right away. You stay here and spend time with your friend. I'm sorry I'm not going to be able to have lunch with you both, and after Watanuki made us such a wonderful meal… you'll save some for me, won't you Doumeki?"

A nod. "Sure."

"Thank you!" Himawari said as she stood and rushed over to a side table to gather up her purse and a few spare things. "It was nice meeting you again, Watanuki, and thank you so much for making us this wonderful meal!"

"Y…yeah." Watanuki responded in disbelief over how things were playing out. "Of… of course."

"Alright, well I'll see you two later! Have fun hanging out!"

And with that she was gone. Again.

Watanuki slammed his head down on the table. Repeatedly. "Nooooooo! No, no, no, no, nooooooo!" he wailed. "What did I do to deserve this?! We're supposed to end up together! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FAAAAATE!"

"Are you sure?" Doumeki casually asked as he calmly went about packing Himawari's meal portions into a package that could be put away for later use. "Because it seems like it just keeps not working out, to me."

"I… you… SHUT UP, IT'S FATE!" Watanuki retorted with a pout. "It's just… hitting a few unexpected bumps along the way, okay?" Doumeki shrugged and headed back into the kitchen to put Himawari's food away.

But as much as Watanuki kept trying to shut them out, Doumeki's words sunk in and fermented uncomfortably in Watanuki's mind. What if he had been wrong all along, what if it _wasn't_ fate for him and Himawari to end up together? All these years he had been so sure, but now… the feeling he got from actually having been around Himawari… it was weird. It was as if… it was almost as if it was no different than all those times he looked at her pictures in the magazines. It was as if… there she was, right in front of him, but at the same time there was no _connection_. She said hello, and was always polite and charming and beautiful, but it just didn't seem _personal_. She hadn't even remembered his name from the night before. Maybe… maybe it was possible that she didn't love and want and need him back the way he wanted and loved and needed her… and maybe… maybe she never would? Never _could_? Suddenly reality hit like a ton of bricks, and Watanuki felt faint, nearly swooning out of his chair.

"Oi, what would you like to drink with your… Watanuki?"

A glazed look had come over Watanuki's expression, and he looked as though even though he was physically there, his mind was somewhere else entirely.

"…Watanuki?"

"…what if it isn't fate?"

A confused expression muddled Doumeki's features. "…what are you talking about?"

"What if it isn't fate?" Watanuki repeated, during to gaze at Doumeki with an empty expression. "What if Himawari doesn't love me back?"

"Um…"

"WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME BACK?!" Watanuki desperately cried, reaching out to clutch onto Doumeki's shirtfront. "I… I've spent so many years believing it was fate to be with Himawari, but what if she doesn't love me back?"

Doumeki gave him a blank look, raising an eyebrow.

"I… I mean… every time I see her I choke, and it seems like she doesn't even seem like she really cares and… and… YOU FREAKING JERK, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?"

Now Doumeki just looked a little affronted. "How is this _my_ fault?"

"It just is!" Watanuki insisted. "I… you're always around her, you should know how I can get her to love me! WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME!?"

"…I have no idea what you're talking about."

"YOU LIKE HER, DON'T YOU!?" Watanuki accused, jabbing a finger at the elder male. "YOU'RE TRYING TO STEAL HER AWAY! WELL I'M ON TO YOU, DOUMEKI! AND YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"

With a feral snarl, Watanuki launched himself at Doumeki, knocking his chair over in the process, and sending both of them crashing to the dining room floor with the unexpectedness of the impact. With an indignant exclamation of surprise, Doumeki hit the floor, Watanuki landing right on top of him with every intent of laying into him. Unfortunately for Watanuki, it was only a second later that the larger boy recovered from the initial shock and surged forwards and upwards to flip the situation around.

Literally.

Watanuki was a little puzzled when he suddenly found himself looking up at Himawari's very nice ceiling, his arms restrained above his head. A second later, however, Doumeki's disgruntled face swerved into view right above him.

"Oi, what's wrong with you?"

Growling as the situation at hand came back to him, Watanuki struggled against his restraints (which turned out to be Doumeki's hand gripping his wrists and holding them down above his head) in an effort to get back at his foe. "Let go of me, you bastard! I'm trying to fight for Himawari's love here!"

Doumeki rolled his eyes. "Well you're losing. And besides, I'm not in love with Himawari, so there's no point."

"You…what?" Watanuki questioned, growing confused. How could anyone _not_ love Himawari?

"I'm not in love with her." Doumeki repeated, frowning. "I just work for her. She's nice, I suppose you could even call us friends, but I don't _love_ her."

"Oh, well… oh." Watanuki replied, furrowing his brows as it sank in. Doumeki's current status – jerk, but not a threat.

"Is it safe to let you up?"

Watanuki considered the situation. Yes, he supposed if Doumeki let him up he wouldn't lash out anymore. And besides, Doumeki's hipbones and belt were really digging in to him, and the guy was certainly a lot bigger and therefore heavier than him. Oof.

"Yeah, I won't do anything." He sighed, letting his head fall to the side.

Doumeki hesitantly got off of him, but Watanuki didn't even immediately get off the floor, let alone strike out. He was too busy realizing that all of his hopes and dreams were crashing all around him to care about getting off the floor. After another minute though, Doumeki was shaking his shoulder in a rather irritating manner, and the smaller male had no choice but to abandon his thoughts for the moment.

"What?" he snapped irritably.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Watanuki moodily replied, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "I'm just _peachy_."

"…okay then."

"…"

"…"

"OF COURSE I'M NOT PEACHY!" Watanuki exploded, jumping to his feet and flailing his arms around wildly. "I'M TERRIBLE! I'VE JUST REALIZED THE GIRL I'VE LOVED FOR MY WHOLE LIFE IS NEVER GOING TO LOVE ME BACK!"

Silence reined for minute, Watanuki giving Doumeki a heartfelt glare, and Doumeki returning it with an unreadably blank expression. Watanuki was so close to just up and leaving, when Doumeki suddenly broke in with a most unlikely question.

"How do you know you love her?"

"I…" Watanuki automatically opened his mouth and started to respond when the gravity of the question sunk in. Snapping his mouth closed, Watanuki thought it over, possibly for the first time ever. Every other time someone had ever voiced even the slightest amount of skepticism he had been quick to retort with an automatic, snappish reply dismissing any such doubts about his feelings. But now… He was devastated, it was true, but at the same time… It seemed almost expected, somehow. The way things had turned out. Himawari was just so… untouchable. She was beautiful and charming, and he loved everything about her but… but… he didn't really know _her_. Sure, he knew all the facts and figures, but had that prepared him for actually meeting her face to face? Seeing her in real life was almost… almost surreal, and if Watanuki was honest with himself, he felt almost disconnected from both of the times he had been around her. As if she was a beautiful and precious porcelain doll behind glass – meant to be appreciated, but not actively involved with. So many times he had pictured confessing his love, and having her swoon and instantly love him back at the news, but now, thinking about it from his current standpoint… it really did seem almost like a silly little fantasy.

"Oh my God…" Watanuki began in a hallow voice. "It's… after all this time… it never really was fate at all." Doumeki got an indiscernible expression on his face upon hearing those words spoken from Watanuki's lips. Almost a mix between a very obvious "well DUH!" and wanting to step forward and consolingly pat the smaller dark haired boy on the back. He did neither, however, and continued to simply stand there, observing Watanuki coming to terms with the situation.

"I… I… what do I do?" Watanuki hopelessly inquired, not really talking to anyone in particular, more just throwing the question out there for the universe to swallow up. Wobbling on his legs, Watanuki's lower lip wobbled a little, as he tried to reign in his emotions. "I… I… my whole life… I thought that…"

Doumeki moved forward to catch Watanuki as the smaller boy wobbled unsteadily once again, threatening to fall over on his face. Watanuki allowed himself to be caught without a fuss, and unfeelingly let Doumeki lead him out of the room. The next thing he knew, he was being lowered to sit down on a soft, comfortable surface, and he blinked confusedly, looking around to find himself in a foreign room, sitting down on a bed.

"Where am I now?" Watanuki asked, brows furrowing as stirrings of irritation began to rise.

"I took you to my room." Doumeki informed him.

"I… WHAT?" Watanuki shouted, rising to unsteady legs to point accusingly at Doumeki, a flush rising to his cheeks. "YOU PERVERT, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

"You looked like you were going to pass out." The elder male replied. "I figured it would be better for you to fall over here than in the kitchen where you could crack our head open on a cabinet or table or whatever."

"Well… well… Fine!" Watanuki snapped back, unable to come up with anything better, and certainly unwilling to give in and thank Doumeki. That jerk.

Said jerk just rolled his eyes. "You're welcome."

"I didn't say thank you." Watanuki grumbled. Sighing, Doumeki strode out of the room, leaving Watanuki alone with his thoughts.

Heaving a sigh, Watanuki flopped back on the mattress, legs hanging off the side and dangling uselessly. Swinging them idly, Watanuki brought his arm up, flinging it over his face with a groan, covering his eyes. Urgh, what to do, what to do? Apparently his lifelong dreams of making Himawari the love of his life weren't going to happen, and that was what he had been living his life for the last however many years. He had lost count. But it didn't really matter anymore, did it? Himawari… she didn't love him back.

Even in his mind the words didn't hurt as much as he would have once thought they would, and that made him frustrated. Growling low in the back of his throat, Watanuki rolled over, burying his face in the mattress, which irritatingly enough smelled like that jerk Doumeki, all around him, enveloping him. And even more irritatingly, in his last thoughts before falling off into an exhausted sleep…

He grudgingly admitted that he liked it.

**.o.O.o.**

Hope everyone liked the first chapter! I'll get part two of two posted as soon as I can!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there! Here's the second and final chapter for this fic, and thank you SO MUCH to everyone who's read and reviewed so far! I know that XXXHolic isn't really the most popular or active fandom, but I'm so happy people took the time to read and review this! You guys made me work extra hard to try and get this second part done in a timely fashion, and to get it done as best as I possibly could!

SO THEN! On with part two! I hope everyone likes it!

**BY THE WAY, THIS IS THE EDITED, FFNET FRIENDLY VERSION!** For the complete snoo-snoo-y version, go to: http(COLON SLASH SLASH)anime(DOT)adultfanfiction(DOT)net(SLASH)story(DOT)php(QUESTION MARK)no(EQUAL SIGN)600041371

**.o.O.o.**

"Watanuki? … Watanuki?"

Light shaking roused the young, dark haired boy from his sleep, and he grumpily flopped over, throwing an arm over his eyes to block out the dim light filtering in through the blinds.

"What?" he sleepily murmured, blinking drowsily and trying to make sense of where he was. Someone tall was looming over him, but all he could make out was the dark form; his sleep clogged senses still too clumsy to process anything more.

"It's getting late." The looming figure informed him in a monotone, and Watanuki flopped back over with a sigh, finally able to identify who was speaking. "Don't you have to be getting home soon?"

"Nrrrgh…" Watanuki vaguely murmured, annoyed at being woken, and by Doumeki of all people.

"…" Not knowing how to respond the garbled reply, the taller male simply continued to stand over Watanuki, looking down at him as the boy curled into himself, burying his face in the pillows and blankets.

"Mmmn… what time is it?" Watanuki finally asked, sounding like he still wasn't fully awake.

"Almost seven o'clock at night." Doumeki informed him, not taking his eyes off of the smaller boy's form nestled amongst his bedsheets. "I thought your parents would be expecting you." Watanuki seemed to wake up a bit more at this, sitting up with a contemplative frown on his features.

"Uh… yeah, sure. I guess ." Watanuki mumbled. "I…" he paused, seeming to have just noticed something. "Where are my glasses?"

"There." Doumeki told him, motioning to the bedside table. "You looked like you were going to roll over onto your face, so I took them off for you."

"Hn." Watanuki vaguely acknowledged with an embarrassed flush, not about to say thank you for the creep molesting his face in his sleep. What a weirdo.

It didn't take too much more rousing after that to get Watanuki fully awake and following the taller dark haired male out the door. Watanuki disliked being led around like a lost puppy, but he reluctantly admitted that he was out of his element, and whether he liked it or not, Doumeki was the one person who was going to be able to explain his presence at the hotel and lead him out without further inquiry.

Pushing through the revolving glass doors that led both in to and out of the hotel, Doumeki turned towards the hotel's adjacent parking structure, Watanuki trailing behind. Going around the side, Doumeki led him up a flight of stairs…and then another one… and another one…

"Doumeki!" the smaller teen snapped irritably, gasping at his slight lack of breath as they ascended the fifth flight of stairs. "What did you do, park at the very absolute top level?"

"Yeah." Came the monotone reply, and Doumeki didn't even bother turning around or slowing down. Watanuki glared daggers into the older male's back.

"And may I ask _why_?"

Doumeki shrugged. "It's easy to find parking spaces there. No one else bothers going all the way to the top."

"Gee, I wonder why." Watanuki grumbled under his breath as he continued tagging along. Not that he really had any choice at this point.

When they finally _did_ make it to the top level (Watanuki falling to his knees dramatically and gasping for breath) there was only a single car to be found, parked directly in the exact middle of the open parking area, under a dimly glowing lamp-light. Watanuki blanched. Doumeki really wasn't kidding or exaggerating when he said no one else bothered to park up here. It was probably convenient, though, if he and Himawari were ever in need of parking in the public hotel structure – at least up here no one would be around to harass them.

When they got to the car, embarrassingly enough, Doumeki stopped at the passenger side to hold the door open for Watanuki, gesturing with a sweeping arm movement to usher the younger boy in. Huffing indignantly, Watanuki slipped inside, sitting himself down and pulling the seal belt strap over his shoulder, effectively buckling himself in and reassuring himself that Doumeki's gesture was just one of habit, being Himawari's official escort and all.

It was a nice car, Watanuki noticed, a simple little black four door, but it was sleek and clean and comfortable and rather nice looking all-around. Watanuki settled himself in as Doumeki got in on his own side, pulling on his own seat belt and putting the keys in the ignition. The car turned on with the whirring on the engine and the beep of a few electronics, and Doumeki looked over at Watanuki for a moment – seeming to appraise the situation and Watanuki's comfort – before twisting in his seat, looking over his shoulder and backing the car up out of it's space. Watanuki really didn't see the point – Doumeki could have just simply driven forward through the empty parking spaces that surrounded him on all sides, but it appeared that he was a man of etiquette and standard proceedings. _'What a weird guy…'_ Watanuki thought to himself, rolling his eyes. And awkwardly enough, Doumeki kept the radio turned either off or down so low that it was impossible to hear. Either way, the silence of the ride made Watanuki fidget in his seat, not wanting to make idle chit-chat with someone he still held a grudge against, but not particularly liking the silence either.

"Where do you live?" Doumeki inquired, and for a moment Watanuki puffed up indignantly, almost snapping at Doumeki for his boldness. But logically it was a reasonable thing to ask. Considering how Doumeki _was_ driving Watanuki home and everything. So Watanuki held his tongue, instead giving brief instructions as to how to get to his apartment.

"_That's_ where you live?" Doumeki replied, a tint of wonder and awe to his otherwise usually emotionless voice. "Isn't that rather far away from the fashion studio and the hotel?"

"Yeah, so?" Watanuki snapped back, wondering what the point of that particular perceptive little insight was.

"Both times I met you… you were there all on your own, without a car or a bike or anything. Did you _walk_ there and back?"

Watanuki sunk down in his seat with an embarrassed blush and a scowl. "Yeah, so?"

"That's a long way to walk for someone you don't even know." Doumeki replied in a low voice, not taking his eyes off the road.

"Don't remind me." Watanuki grumbled, folding his arms over his chest crossly.

A sudden ringing cut into the tense atmosphere of the car interiour, and Watanuki turned to see Doumeki picking up a car phone, snorting out a stifled laugh. What kind of guy still used a _car phone_?

"Yes?" Doumeki answered (who answered their phone like that?) and a muffled reply – feminine sounding, from all the high pitches to the voice – came through the line, although Watanuki couldn't pick out any clear words or phrases.

"Oh?" Doumeki continued, speaking to the person on the other end. "I see… Yes. … No, that's not a problem. … Okay. … Right. … I'll see you tomorrow. … Yes. … Goodbye."

Watanuki looked to the dark haired teen for an explanation, but Doumeki still didn't look away from the road, and Watanuki was too polite to verbally pry into the exchange that had just occurred. They slipped back into silence for the rest of the ride, Watanuki mulling over his bad luck and failed venture into love, and Doumeki… well… thinking whatever it was Doumeki thought about in that head of his. When they finally pulled around the corner onto the block Watanuki's apartment was on, the smaller male sat up, preemptively settling his hand over the seatbelt buckle to be ready to slip out when the car pulled over.

"Uh, that's my apartment right over… there." Watanuki began, trailing off when it became apparent that Doumeki wasn't going to pull over. "Um… you missed it." _'Idiot'_ he added in his head.

"Hn." Doumeki responded, not appearing to care as he turned around the corner of the block into a wide, open alley for parking.

"Uh, you didn't have to park." Watanuki informed him, quizzically questioning the older male's judgment. "It's probably not a good idea to park your expensive car somewhere like… what are you doing?"

Doumeki had unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door, stepping out and coming around the Watanuki's side. Quickly assessing the situation and figuring out what was up, Watanuki scrambled for his own seatbelt and door latch, but not fast enough. Groaning as the door was held open for him, he muttered an unenthusiastic "thanks" under his breath, stepping out of the car.

"Alright, well I'm going to go now." Watanuki said, looking up at Doumeki. "Uh… thanks for the ride home. Tell Himawari I say…" he paused, not knowing what kind of message he wanted conveyed to the once-love-of-his-life. "Uh, tell her I say goodbye." Doumeki nodded and Watanuki went to step away, head back to his apartment, only to stop when Doumeki began following after him.

"What are you doing?" he snapped, turning around to face the taller boy. Doumeki blinked, looking like he didn't quite comprehend why Watanuki was asking that.

"I'm walking you to your door."

Watanuki flushed, trying to cover it with a heated glare. "You don't have to do that. I'm fine on my own."

"I want to."

A heavy sigh, accompanied by an eyeroll. "Fine, but I'm not inviting you in."

This didn't get a response, so Watanuki huffed indignantly and turned on his heel, hearing Doumeki follow after him. It was a little… unnerving, this reversal of roles, and Watanuki wasn't entirely sure how he felt about Doumeki tagging along after him. Sure it was annoying, but maybe… maybe the fact that someone genuinely _wanted_ to accompany him was kind of nice.

Watanuki's apartment was up two flights of stairs, and the two took them in silence, the blush refusing to leave Watanuki's features. Why did he turn into such a wreck around this Doumeki guy, unable to control something as trivial as the state of his face? Reaching the correct door, Watanuki turned to face the taller boy, still fighting off that self-conscious blush.

"Uh, well I suppose I'll see you around." Watanuki said by way of farewell, nervously shoving the keys into his door in an effort to get this encounter over with as quickly as possible. Unfortunately the 'not taking his eyes off of Doumeki' didn't coincide very well with trying to unlock his door, and the keys jangled irritatingly as he tried to fit the right one in the slot. "So uh…" The proper key slid into place and Watanuki turned the handle, pushing the door open. "Goodbye, I guess."

He flipped on the light switch before entering his apartment, but stopped short in the doorway, simply looking around. The mess from two nights ago was still scattered all over his living room – snack bowls and carelessly tossed remotes and TV guide booklets… His dishes needed washing and his room was probably a mess… and it was so… so… _empty_. All of a sudden he was struck with the strong desire to _not_ go inside, completely disregarding the fact that it was late and he had nowhere else to go and Doumeki was probably still standing right behind him and –

"You live alone?"

Clearing his suddenly very thick feeling throat, Watanuki answered without turning around. "Uh… yeah. I do."

"Do you mind?"

Watanuki blinked some wetness out of his eyes, refusing to let tears fall down his cheeks. "Um… no. It's… it's okay."

"It seems very lonely."

Watanuki whirled around then, fury depicted on his features. "What would you know, huh?! You're rich and famous and you get to travel around the world with _Himawari_!" God, it hurt just to say her name. All those lost dreams… "You get to stay in fancy hotels and eat expensive gourmet food and go to premiers and have anything and everything you want! So don't think you know me, don't think you can know how I feel, what it's like to live here and be me!"

Watanuki's shoulders heaved as he panted from his emotional outburst, the corners of his eyes stinging with unshed tears. It was so unfair, everything was going wrong and what had he ever done to deserve any of it? Nothing! And there Doumeki stood with that same unreadable, _expressionless_ look on his face, thinking he could just come by and start saying things he knew nothing about! It made Watanuki absolutely livid, and if he wasn't so physically and emotionally warn out he would consider clocking Doumeki right in his stupid face.

"I don't have everything I want." The older teen muttered, and Watanuki just continued to silently seethe, not dignifying that so obviously false statement with a reply. They stood there in awkward silence for another minute, Watanuki starting to shake with the cold, before Doumeki spoke up again.

"It was Himawari who called earlier." He said, and Watanuki didn't comprehend what the guy was getting at. Just rubbing it in Watanuki's face that he got calls from Himawari and the bespectacled boy didn't? "She's going to be gone tonight, staying somewhere else with a business partner friend."

"…" And his point _waaaas_?

"Did you want to come back to the hotel and spend the night there?"

"Wha–what?" Watanuki questioned, completely thrown off. "I… I can't just… you can't seriously expect me to simply… it isn't…"

**.x.X.x.**

Without even comprehending how it happened, Watanuki suddenly somehow found himself being led back down the stairs, buckled back into the car seat, and driven back to the hotel. He followed Doumeki through the grand rooms without either of them saying a word, and the elevator ride to the floor was awkwardly void of conversation as well. Doumeki's keys jangled noisily as he slid the correct one into the slot, and pushed it open, gesturing for Watanuki to go first. Sighing, Watanuki stepped in, stopping just past the door to wait for Doumeki to come in and let him know what to do.

Locking the door behind himself, Doumeki turned around to find Watanuki standing in the middle of the entryway, looking lost.

"Do you want something to eat?"

Watanuki shook his head and felt like all the fight had gone out of him. "No, I'm… fine. I'm just… tired."

"You wanna go to bed, then?"

Suddenly Watanuki's indignant streak came back full force. "Excuse me?" he burst, drawing back and looking defensive.

"Do. You. Want. To. Go. To. Bed?" Doumeki repeated, making each word distinctive and clear, so that there could be no mistaking them. "You didn't want to spend the night at your apartment, so I'm assuming you're going to be sleeping here?"

"Oh." Watanuki said, figurative ruffled feathers settling down a little bit. "Uh… right. So, um, does the couch pull out or something?" Doumeki blinked.

"It does."

"Okay then, I'll just –"

"But you're not going to be sleeping on it."

"Excuse me?" Watanuki inquired. "Where else would I be sleeping?"

"You're taking my bed."

"EXCUSE ME?!" Watanuki burst. Just what was this guy playing at, anyways?

"You're the guest." Doumeki explained. "So you get the bed."

"I… I don't _want_ your bed, you great pervert!" Watanuki snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. "In fact… you know what? Forget it, I'm going home."

Doumeki stepped in front of the smaller boy, effectively blocking Watanuki's exit. "If you go home all you're going to do is mope. Just take the bed."

"No!" Watanuki refused, trying to push past. "I refuse to stay here while you force me into your bed like some kind of a – what are you doing? What – Hey! HEY! PUT ME DOWN! Where are you taking me?!"

Watanuki found himself unceremoniously deposited on the bed, bouncing slightly as he hit the soft, pliable surface. "Hey!" he indignantly huffed, trying to disentangle himself from the blankets that had somehow managed to wrap around him. "Cut it out, I never said I wanted this!"

Doumeki sighed, ignoring the boy's protests and going over to the dresser, pulling out some loose flannel pants and an oversized shirt. "Here." He said, tossing them at the smaller boy, who was still struggling with the many layers of blanketing that Doumeki had on the bed.

And with that he left.

Silently fuming, Watanuki managed to sit up, grabbing at the soft, comfortable pajama outfit that had been tossed at him. Doumeki had closed the door behind himself on the way out, leaving Watanuki alone in the room. Well then. What to do, what to do. On the one hand he could bust back out into the living room area and cause another scene. Or… he could always just accept the situation as it was.

Sighing, Watanuki changed into the clothes that Doumeki had loaned him before pulling the covers back and climbing in. Once again the aura of Doumeki seemed to surround him, but strangely enough it was almost a little secure, a little comforting, and nothing at all like his lonely apartment, so with his mind set at ease Watanuki set his glasses aside, sighed, and closed his eyes, letting himself drift into a dreamless, exhausted sleep…

**.x.X.x.**

It was some hours later that Watanuki was roused from his sleep. He didn't know what it was exactly that had woken him – some intangible dream, the wind, a night bird, or maybe nothing at all – but he found himself sitting up in bed, suddenly feeling wide awake and very out of place. He wondered where Doumeki had gone, after he had forcibly dragged the smaller boy into the room, depositing him on the bed and throwing a change of clothes in his face. And so, in Watanuki's late-night way of thinking, it seemed only logical to go on a search to find out.

Grabbing a blanket and pulling it around himself, Watanuki carefully placed his glasses on and slipped out of bed, shivering a little at the cold night air, and headed out of Doumeki's room. Pushing the door open silently, thanking the fact that there were no squeaky hinges to give away the fact that he was sneaking around in the middle of the night, Watanuki resisted the urge to pad down the hallway and rummage around in Himawari's room, and headed into the living room area instead. In the cover of darkness it first appeared to be completely empty, and Watanuki's eyebrows furrowed in irritation. Where had the older male gone, then? Just as he was about to turn around and head back down the hall to check for more rooms that Doumeki might have retreated into, a soft snuffling sound came from the corner of the room, and Watanuki paused.

Peering through the darkness, Watanuki took a second to let his eyes fully adjust before pinpointing where the sound had come from. There, in the corner of the room, was an elaborate white couch, with what appeared to be a long mass of blankets and pillows piled upon it. Watanuki might not have paid this any mind if it weren't for the fact that said pile of bedding appeared to be moving and making light snoring sounds.

"Doumeki?" Watanuki whispered into the darkness, tentatively stepping forward. An answering snuffle as the elder teen shifted around, burying himself deeper into the mass of blankets, was all Watanuki received. "Doumeeeeeki?" Watanuki tried again, not quite sure why he felt like being so annoying as to go around waking someone up in their own living quarters in the middle of the night, but persistent nonetheless.

"Nnf…" Doumeki grunted in his sleep, rolling over in a subconscious response to hearing Watanuki's voice. Even in sleep his face held the same, stoic expression, Watanuki mused, stepping closer. A flap of the blanket had been pulled off of Doumeki's shoulder with his shifting, and Watanuki timidly reached out, pinching the corner of the fabric and pulling it back up. He felt kind of… bad that Doumeki had kicked himself out of his own bed just to be nice.

As the back of Watanuki's hand brushed Doumeki's bare shoulder (the loose fitting sleep shirt having slipped off of it) he immediately drew back at how cold the skin was. A guilty flush came over Watanuki then, and he bit his bottom lip in thought. Maybe Doumeki was a kind of weird guy, but…but maybe he wasn't the jerk Watanuki had initially thought him to be. In the last twenty-four hours he had found out that Doumeki had a tendency to do favours for other people – even people he didn't know – he was a relatively insightful individual even if he didn't seem it, and most importantly: he wasn't after Himawari. Watanuki looked down at the dark haired male, clutching the blankets to his form as he attempted to sleep on the too-small couch, cold and most likely uncomfortable. And all for what? Just to be nice to some random kid he had picked up off the street?

"I'm sorry…" Watanuki whispered shamefully, casting his eyes downward.

"What are you doing?"

Jolting in surprise, Watanuki stumbled back and away from the couch, where he could now clearly see Doumeki looking up at him with open eyes, propping himself up on an elbow.

"I… I… couldn't sleep." Watanuki stuttered in replied.

"Do you need something?" Doumeki asked, voice taking on a much gentler tone as he inquired after Watanuki's well being.

Watanuki frowned. What was _with_ this guy?! If someone had woken _him_ up in the middle of the night for no reason, he would have undoubtedly started shouting and lashing out at them. His first instinct _certainly_ wouldn't have been to inquire about their _well being_. But Doumeki… Doumeki continued to just lay there, staring up at him as if he was ready and willing to answer Watanuki's every beckon call, should Watanuki give the slightest inclination to wanting something.

"Watanuki?"

"Aren't you cold?" Watanuki asked, changing the subject.

"No."

"Yes you are." Watanuki irritably snapped, knowing better. Why would the guy bother to lie about that? "I… I felt your shoulder." He stuttered, realizing as he said it how awkward it sounded. "And you were freezing. Why would you put up with that? I could have taken the couch."

"But then _you_ would have been cold."

Watanuki glared at the elder teen for his stubbornness. Why was it so important that Watanuki's comforts were met first? Doumeki took the whole 'showing hospitality towards guests' thing to all new and ridiculous levels.

"Why are you so nice to me?" the smaller dark haired boy suddenly couldn't help asking, looking down at his sock-clad feet and shifting uncomfortably.

"Eh?"

"I just mean…" Watanuki trailed off, gesturing uselessly with his hands. "I mean you keep doing things for me, helping me. I don't get it."

Doumeki shrugged, sitting up. "Why shouldn't I?"

Watanuki frowned, looking back up to meet Doumeki's seemingly indifferent golden gaze. "You don't even _know_ me!" he argued, throwing his arms out in exasperation. Heaving a sigh, Watanuki plonked himself down on the couch beside Doumeki, propping his face up in his hands, elbows resting on his thighs. "I mean… why would you spend time and effort to go out of your way for someone you don't even know, someone who… you don't even know if they like you back, or even care that you're doing those things for them?"

Doumeki leveled his gaze, staring Watanuki down for what felt like endless minutes, and the smaller boy was getting to the point where he didn't even think Doumeki was going to respond before the silence was broken.

"Why would _you_?"

Watanuki was taken aback, frowning in confusion. "What do you mean, 'why would I'? I've never…"

Suddenly cold reality gripped the dark haired boy's entire being, wracking him to the core. The comparison was so _obvious_. All the things Doumeki had been doing for him so _perfectly_ mirrored the lengths to which he had gone to for Himawari. But that… it just… it didn't quite match up. He had done all those things because he had _loved_ Himawari, and there was just no possible way that Doumeki's actions were borne of the same… the same…

_Gulp._

"Um… Doumeki?" Watanuki hesitantly questioned. "You, uh… you don't… um… What I'm trying to say is…"

Without so much as a single change in expression, Doumeki leaned forward, gently placing his lips to those of the smaller boy, applying careful pressure, neither forceful nor hesitant. Just… there.

Watanuki's mind rushed in a whirlwind of thoughts, panicking at the current situation at hand. He was frozen, unable to think coherently enough to act… much like he had been upon meeting Himawari for the first time. But this… this was _entirely_ different! _'And unwelcome!'_ his mind supplied, but for the life of him he couldn't get the rest of his body to communicate that. He should be pushing Doumeki away, yelling at him, hitting him, storming out of the room in an indignant huff… but he found himself unable to do any of those things. He just sat there, frozen to the spot as Doumeki pressed his lips a little more firmly again his own, obviously trying to get a response. After a moment he drew away, leaving Watanuki to gape helplessly at him, still unable to work up any kind of verbal or physical reply.

"You okay?"

"Wha… wha… wha…" Watanuki found himself unable to do anything more productive or coherent than stutter helplessly. A look of genuine concern passed over Doumeki's features.

"Watanuki?"

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Watanuki exploded, voice cracking as his heart beat erratically. Pulling back abruptly he sprawled back into a sort of sloppy position where he was half on his back, half still sitting up, and trying his best to lean away from Doumeki. He was instinctually shouting at the other boy, but he wasn't sure if he was actually mad. Confused? Yes. Indignant? Oh yes. Actually, genuinely, mad? Not really. Shouting just seemed the thing to do.

"Don't shout." Doumeki chided. "There are people on the floors above and below us."

"DON'T SHOUT?" Watanuki echoed. "Don't… don't… THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME FOR SHOUTING! YOU JUST TOOK IT UPON YOUSELF TO LEAN OVER AND – MMNLF!"

Seemingly in an attempt to quiet the younger male, Doumeki leaned over Watanuki, once more pressing their lips together. Watanuki continued to attempt to voice his disapproval on the matter at hand, but unfortunately opening his mouth to object only allowed Doumeki to deepen their exchange, capturing the younger boy's lower lip gently in between his own and tugging slightly.

Watanuki gasped, immediately cutting off his muffled verbal struggle. A jolt of electricity ran through him at Doumeki's action and he drew back further still, only to have Doumeki follow after him, practically laying atop him by this point. None of the older boy's weight was on him, but Watanuki could feel Doumeki's warmth – whatever of it was still retained after having slept on the cold couch for hours – radiating off of him. Watanuki blamed that realization entirely for the fact that he suddenly felt his own body temperature spiking, seeming to go up at least a few degrees.

"Doumeki, wait…" Watanuki attempted, but was cut off once more as the older male pressed against him, letting Watanuki support some of his weight as he leaned back in for another kiss. Watanuki made a small sound of protest, but in the muffled confines of their met mouths it came out sounding a bit more… encouraging than anything else. Watanuki, blushing furiously, was about to push Doumeki off and have another attempt at speaking his mind, but then the older teen pulled away on his own, just a fraction, and contentedly sighed, his lips still brushing Watanuki's. Taken aback at the tender action, Watanuki's protests caught in his throat and his chest seized with some unidentifiable emotion.

"I like you, Watanuki." Doumeki quietly admitted, resting his forehead against that of the smaller boy.

"Um…" Watanuki honestly couldn't think of a single thing to say. While he certainly wasn't greeting this discovery with joy and open arms, he at the same time realized it would be rather cruel to push the other male off of him with a cutting remark and a sneer. So he settled for responding with something generic, something somewhere in the middle, something non-committal and non-malicious. "Okay."

Unfortunately Doumeki didn't take Watanuki's okay for how he meant it. Apparently the other boy took it as an assent, a go-ahead, and wrapping his arms snugly around the smaller boy, he leaned back in.

Except this time he didn't go for Watanuki's mouth. This time his lips descended lower, pressing to the exposed column of Watanuki's neck and dropping gentle, fleeting kisses along it. The bespectacled boy let out a quiet gasp, eyes widening in disbelief and jaw dropping open in surprise. Okay, so… that certainly hadn't been the expected reaction. Doumeki began bestowing attention to the underside of Watanuki's jaw, and even though he knew he now had full use of his usually loud mouth to do all the protesting he wanted, full use of his limbs to push and shove Doumeki away…

For some reason he just couldn't do it.

The dark haired boy seemed just so… _happy. _Watanuki just… just couldn't bring himself to push him away. It… it was weird… for some reason, with Doumeki like this, honest and open, Watanuki almost… almost didn't mind him. When he was being stoic and reserved and unreadable all Watanuki wanted to do was yell at him and hit him for being so frustrating. But this open display of affection, such honestly… it threw Watanuki off and he found himself unable to figure out how to properly react to the situation, other than just staying put where he was and letting it happen.

Of course that didn't mean he was devoid of the ability to react _entirely_.

"Hey!" Watanuki indignantly burst, pushing Doumeki off and hurriedly scooting back on the couch, bringing up to a spot on his neck that was currently tingling and feeling a little warm. "You… you just _bit_ me!"

"Not hard." Doumeki stated, looking like he was wondering what the problem was.

"Okay, now wait just a minute!" Watanuki replied, voice a little shaky as he still held a hand over the spot on his neck. "I… who said I wanted you biting me at all! This is uncalled for! I… I don't even _know_ you."

"Hn." Doumeki huffed in reply, and to Watanuki it sounded like it had a tone of scoffing irony to it. With a bit of embarrassment he again likened the current situation with his previous one with the girl of his obsession, and thought he understood why Doumeki might have responded in such a fashion.

"Sorry, I just…" He just what? Watanuki didn't know, even in his own head. He just didn't want it? He just had to leave? He just… might need some time to get used to the idea?

"It's okay." Doumeki mumbled in reply, pulling himself back over Watanuki. "I won't do it again."

Inwardly noting that he hadn't given Doumeki permission to do _anything_ more, biting or no, Watanuki nevertheless allowed the next kiss Doumeki placed to his lips. He was being so _gentle_, Watanuki noticed, so attentive and… and almost reverent. Outside of the obsession, it was exactly how he himself had approached the situation with Himawari. As completely loyal and devoted and willing to do anything and everything for the one he loved. It was everything he had wanted to give, and everything he had hoped to receive in return, and Watanuki suddenly felt so completely _endeared_ to Doumeki, so completely _understanding_ that he unexpectedly found himself returning the kiss that was so comforting and reassuring.

Murmuring happily, Doumeki threaded a hand into Watanuki's hair, fisting gently to hold onto the strands. It tugged a bit, and embarrassingly enough Watanuki found that he rather liked it, the assertion of claim that it implied. Watanuki's stomach gave an uncomfortable twist, knowing that it couldn't be a good sign that he actually _wanted_ this to an extent. Somewhere in the back of his mind he supposed he was supposed to be pushing the older boy off, but he couldn't bring himself to follow through on that, body traitorously pressing up as Doumeki tugged his hair a little harder, a small whimper forcing it's way out of his throat.

"Doumeki…" Watanuki tried once more, and even _he_ wasn't sure if it was a last protest of the situation, or the first admittance of defeat. Maybe it was a little bit of both. In either case, Doumeki took the opportunity to gently take Watanuki's lower lip between his teeth, giving a tentative pull at it. Another wave of warmth rippled through Watanuki, and he closed his eyes behind his glasses, trying to take everything in. It was all going so fast that he could barely process it and _ooooooooh God, what was Doumeki doing with his tongue?_

"Nnn…" Watanuki got out, attempting to pull his mouth away. His effort was in vain, however, as Doumeki simply followed after him, affectively recapturing his lips and continuing their kiss. It was very wet and sloppy from all of Watanuki's moving around, but some part of the back of his mind was actually enjoying it. Or that could have just been his hormones talking. Whatever it was, when Doumeki moved over Watanuki, better situating himself and pressing the smaller boy down into the mattress, it was all the younger teen could do to not arch up into the weight pushing down on him. And even then, his willpower only lasted for a moment or so, and the next thing he knew his spine was arching up into a graceful arc, pressing up insistently.

Doumeki pulled back for a second, letting out a shuddering breath as he seemingly attempted to reign in his rush of hormones that were driving his actions and causing him to respond quite enthusiastically to Watanuki's _re_actions. The smaller dark haired boy slumped back down and took the moment to take a breather, staring up at Doumeki, seeing so much _emotion_ written all over his features. A moment later Doumeki was leaning back in, cupping the side of Watanuki's face with his free hand and placing the most tentative kiss upon his lips. It was heartbreakingly sweet, and Watanuki found himself pressing back up to instigate a deeper connection of mouths, going to far as to hesitantly wrap a shaking arm around Doumeki's waist. Spurred on by this show of affirmative response, Doumeki also delved deeper into the kiss, running his tongue smoothly over the crease in Watanuki's lips. He was rewarded a moment later when Watanuki cautiously parted his lips, knowing what Doumeki was getting at, but unsure as to whether he should really be allowing it to happen.

Before Watanuki could back out of his decision to allow Doumeki access to his open mouth, the larger boy eagerly claimed what had been offered to him, sliding his tongue into Watanuki's open mouth and running it tentatively along Watanuki's own. Gasping in surprise, Watanuki didn't at first respond, too shocked at the strange feeling of the slippery muscle caressing his own tongue. It was… weird to say the least. He really didn't have anything to compare it to – the feeling of it, the way it made him react – and so he curiously went along with it. Doumeki's tongue swept over the contours of his mouth, and it felt so strange and a little embarrassing, but at the same time so _intimate_ that Watanuki couldn't help but react positively to it; pressing himself up against Doumeki and letting out little huffs and whimpers into the exchange of mouths.

Apparently all of Watanuki's little noises served to spur Doumeki on, because the next thing the smaller boy knew he was being pushed firmly back into the couch cushions, the whole length of Doumeki's body pressed insistently up against him. They would have been perfectly aligned if not for their height difference, but even in their current situation Watanuki was distinctly aware of a new development in their situation. A new development that involved Doumeki's anatomy. A very _specific _piece of anatomy.

"U-um…" Watanuki stuttered, shakily drawing out of the kiss with a heated blush. Doumeki seemed to realize that Watanuki had just become conscious of his current state of arousal, and he had the decency to look away in embarrassment.

"Sorry."

"It… um… it's okay." Watanuki found himself answering, even though he was pretty sure this situation was anything _but_ okay. "It's, uh, not your fault."

"No." Doumeki murmured, nuzzling his face into Watanuki's neck. "I suppose not. It's _your_ fault."

"Wha –" Watanuki spluttered, intent on indignantly snapping back that there was no _way_ that he contributed to the formation of… of… of _that_, when the meaning of Doumeki's words sunk in. It was _because of_ Watanuki. It was… it was _for_ him. Watanuki didn't know whether to feel flattered or to flip out and run away screaming. In the end he settled for an embarrassed sort of 'freaked-out' type of flattered, and laughed nervously. "Heh heh… oh. Um… yeah."

Sensing Watanuki's discomfort but choosing to ignore it, Doumeki smirked in an endeared manner before leaning back in to kiss Watanuki once more, cupping the side of his face gently. Watanuki sighed, kissing back and tangling his fingers in Doumeki's hair. Except… now that he was aware of the older boy's little… _problem_, he found himself a little distracted. Nervous flutters raced through him at what was implied by Doumeki's current state, and he shifted restlessly, trying to keep his mind off of it but failing spectacularly. There was only so much else he could concentrate on with another boy's anatomy pushing against his thigh the way Doumeki's was.

And it seemed as though his restless shifting wasn't helping matters for the elder male. Doumeki kept making strained sounds in the back of his throat, hips jerking forward convulsively every time Watanuki would move underneath him. Watanuki grew a little more panicked at the direction this was heading in and, whimpering, pulled out of the kiss with a pathetic whimper.

"Doumeki, I –"

Apparently Doumeki wasn't in the mood to talk. Surging forward, he recaptured Watanuki's lips, sliding his tongue into the smaller boy's moth at the same time as he pushed his body forward, only intending on scootching up on the couch, but inadvertently setting off an entirely different chain of events. Watanuki, in surprise, braced himself on his elbows and pushed backwards, trying to pull away, but in the process only ended up pressing himself up, effectively causing their hips to press together. Doumeki groaned, biting down on Watanuki's neck, and the smaller male gasped, aware of the fact that their lower anatomy was now in perfect, aligned contact – albeit through layers of cloth – and the friction provided was more than a little… stimulating. Clenching his jaw as Doumeki experimentally tested out another slow press of hips, Watanuki hissed through his teeth, eyes squeezing shut. That was… this… they were… the situation was quickly escalating out of control. And yet for some reason… Watanuki couldn't bring himself to get out of it. His brain was telling him it was weird, or wrong, or _something_, but his body… his body was having a different reaction entirely. Doumeki's renewed interest in Watanuki's neck, combined with the fact that they had somehow fallen into a slow rhythm of undulating hips, sent tremors of excitement pulsing through Watanuki's veins. They were treading into dangerous territory, and he knew it, but he also _liked_ it to an extent. Watanuki had never engaged in activity of this sort other than by his own hand, and he found that with another person the feelings were multiplied tenfold. He found it curious that he would react to someone with the same anatomy as himself, but it felt so good that he didn't think to dwell on it overly much.

"Watanuki…" Doumeki murmured against the other's skin, and Watanuki felt a blush of embarrassment flood his cheeks. Doumeki was really… really _into_ this. He… he really did genuinely like Watanuki, didn't he? A bout of guilt overtook Watanuki then as he realized that maybe it wasn't fair of him to allow this, that maybe if he didn't like Doumeki back that he should end it. But… he looked down to see Doumeki reverently laying open-mouthed kisses the skin just under the neckline of his shirt, and as he arched his head back to allow for better access Watanuki realized… maybe he liked Doumeki back a little too. For as infuriating as the other boy could be, Doumeki was a nice person, and had done nothing but look out for Watanuki from the moment they met. Hadn't that been exactly what Watanuki had been looking for? Someone who loved him with every bit of their heart, who was loyal and steadfast… someone who really genuinely _loved _him. The tables had been switched in the last few days, as Watanuki found himself going from one side of unrequited love with Himawari, to the complete opposite side with Doumeki. He… he really _should_ give Doumeki a chance, he supposed. After all, –

"Doumeki!" Watanuki gasped, arching back as Doumeki insistently pushed forward, simultaneously biting down on a pulse point on Watanuki's neck.

"Stop thinking so much." Doumeki told him. "I can practically hear the cogs turning in your head. It's okay, I've got you. I won't hurt you. Just… let me have this."

Gulping, Watanuki nodded. He didn't know specifically what Doumeki was referring to 'having', or if Watanuki really should let him have it, but as Doumeki slid his hands up the smaller boy's shirt, fingers teasingly trailing upwards over sensitive sides and ribs and _ooooh _Watanuki ever knew his nipples could be so sensitive… With all of this in mind, he figured maybe it would be okay to let Doumeki keep going.

"Doumeki…" Watanuki murmured, nearly a moan, as the elder teen teasingly rubbed his thumbs in light circles over Watanuki's areolas, and at the same time pushed his hips insistently into Watanuki's. The older male gave an answering "hn" to Watanuki's murmur, and contented himself with getting the smaller boy's shirt all the way off. Lifting the hem, he attempted to pull it over Watanuki's head, but the boy's glasses got caught, and a slight tussle between the shirt and Watanuki's face ensued. Eventually, however, Doumeki was able to get the shirt off and toss it away somewhere before gently placing his hands on the earpieces of Watanuki's glasses. Pulling carefully, he removed them; setting them aside on a conveniently placed, nearby end-table. Watanuki gulped. He felt rather… vulnerable without his glasses on. But as Doumeki focused his attention back on Watanuki's face, a rare, true smile graced the stoic boy's lips.

"You're beautiful."

Watanuki was about to snap back that he wasn't a girl, but stopped short. Doumeki looked honestly sincere with what he had said, and besides… no one had ever given him such a genuine and complimentary remark about his physical appearance before.

"Um… thanks."

"Hn."

Lowering himself down, Doumeki wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, enveloping him into a secure embrace. Watanuki couldn't help but sigh, feeling suddenly very safe and protected. He wrapped his own arms back around Doumeki as best as he could, sighing contentedly. Whatever was going on… he decided that he was going to allow it. He obviously meant something to Doumeki, and to be honest… the older male was starting to grow on him as well.

And speaking of growing…

"Ah!" Watanuki exclaimed as Doumeki gave a slow grind forward, making Watanuki extraordinarily aware of both of their growing arousals. "Doumeki…" The older boy didn't respond verbally, but instead buried his face in the other boy's neck, muffling his laboured huffs of breath as he rocked forward again, this time building up a rhythm. Watanuki arched his hips upward to meet every forward push from Doumeki, and before long all that escaped his mouth were muffled pants and moans and garbled versions of Doumeki's name. By this point he was almost just as hard as Doumeki, and their continuous writhing was only serving to escalate his aroused state.

With a sudden grunt, Doumeki hefted himself up and off of Watanuki just enough to remove his shirt. Doumeki's eyes widened a fraction as he took in Doumeki's sculpted physique. He wasn't accustomed to checking out other guys, but he had to admit… Doumeki was very good looking. Catching Watanuki looking him over, the corner of Doumeki's mouth hitched up into a slight smirk and he sat back, settling himself so as to be sitting back on Watanuki's lap. Reaching forward, he rubbed soothingly along the smaller boy's sensitive sides, the up and down motion occasionally accentuated with a slight shift of hips on his part, teasing the smaller boy.

"Dou–Doumeki…" Watanuki got out. Initially he had just been going along with things, but darn it if Doumeki wasn't making him _want_ it. Seeing and feeling the larger boy's body moving over him evoked a tightening of Watanuki's gut, and he pushed his hips up, trying to encourage Doumeki to quit with the taunting if they were really going to do this.

"Hnnm." Doumeki replied, settling himself back down partway draped over Watanuki, leaving enough space open so that he could run his hands over the slender boy's heaving chest, thumbing a nipple once again.

"Nnn!" Watanuki keened, arching up and clenching his eyes shut. "Doumeki, please!"

By this point, Watanuki was completely lost, no longer thinking about anything other than the feelings Doumeki was evoking in him, wanting nothing more than for things to escalate as much and as fast as they could. He still had no idea what he was doing, but for now it didn't matter. Doumeki was with him, over him, all around him, and Watanuki felt comforted and safe and secure and pleasured. Leaning downward once more, Doumeki sealed his lips to Watanuki's, and the younger male eagerly responded. Opening his mouth and allowing Doumeki's tongue immediate access, Watanuki squirmed anxiously, sloppily responding to the kiss by wrapping his tongue around Doumeki's and making soft, encouraging sounds. Spurred on to the point of impatience, Doumeki ran his hand down Watanuki's body, insistently pushing it past the hem of the smaller boy's pants and wrapping around Watanuki's half-formed erection.

"Ah! _Doumeki_!" Watanuki felt his face flush as a wave of heat overcame him, flooding his senses with overwhelming stimulation and sending blood downwards. He impulsively bucked up into Doumeki's hand, hips jerking of their own accord, and his eyes rolled back as Doumeki gave a light squeeze, teasing him. Breathless pants and moans fell from his lips as Watanuki struggled with reigning himself in, but it was difficult. No one else had ever gotten so far with him before, and for some reason the fact that it was Doumeki was making the whole experience heightened. With a low growl at Watanuki's writhing, Doumeki pulled back enough that he could pull the smaller boy's pants the rest of the way off, leaving Watanuki completely vulnerable and unclothed.

"Ah… Doumeki?" Watanuki questioned, chest heaving as he looked embarrassedly down his body to see Doumeki hovering over him. "Uh… are you… what exactly… um, I – "

Doumeki leaned forward, effectively silencing the dark haired boy with a gentle kiss. Watanuki was vaguely aware of some shifting taking place on Doumeki's part, but didn't think much of it until the older male questioned him with a murmured. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Uh… yeah." Watanuki mumbled back fuzzily, not knowing what exactly Doumeki was asking about until the larger boy was lowering himself back down, once more covering Watanuki's body, but this time with a significantly sparser amount of clothing.

"Doumeki!" Watanuki shouted, jumping nearly out of his skin as some of the blood that had been rushing down to feed his arousal abruptly switched direction to flood into his cheeks in embarrassment. "You… you're… you're not wearing anything!"

"Neither are you." Doumeki pointed out, nuzzling his face into Watanuki's neck and sighing contentedly.

"Uh…" Watanuki spluttered for another moment, breathing irregularly and frenzied in confusion before he was able to calm down enough to make sense of things. It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over their foggy state of arousal, and suddenly everything was sharp and clear. Watanuki was feeling _mortified_ at Doumeki pressed so close, so intimately, because he could feel _every_ inch of the other's skin, and knew Doumeki could feel the same. But… Doumeki didn't seem to be making a big deal of it, other than placing soothing kisses to the smaller boys neck, running strong, comforting hands over Watanuki's arms. Settling down a little more, Watanuki tried to block out his nerves and concentrate on the positive. Still squirming a little uneasily, he took note of the strong plane of Doumeki's stomach rising and falling gently over his own. Their legs were a tangle of limbs, but somehow it felt nice, comfortable even, and Watanuki relaxed further. Doumeki's lips gently fluttered over Watanuki's neck, and Doumeki's… Doumeki's… Watanuki gulped. Doumeki's _lower anatomy_ was pressing insistently right up against his own.

What should have caused the biggest jolt of panic and nerves yet, surprisingly only sent warm washes of pleasant sensation flowing through Watanuki's senses. This intimate connection felt really… nice. Taking a deep breath, he experimentally shifted his hips, seeking more fascinating contact, and was surprised when Doumeki groaned low in his throat, firmly pushing his hips back down into those of the smaller boy. Watanuki gasped, electric shivers shaking his frame as an onslaught of sensory feelings wreaked havoc on his body. When Doumeki pushed his hips back down, Watanuki could feel every slick inch of the other's arousal right up against his own, and the feeling was intoxicating. A glazed sheen coming over his eyes, Watanuki rocked back, urging Doumeki to continue.

And continue he did. Meeting Watanuki's curious and experimental thrusting with sure, calculated downward pumps of his own, Doumeki set the pace, pleased when Watanuki began responding with more enthused bucks and writhing of his own. Somehow in their movements Doumeki was able to shift, sliding a leg in between Watanuki's thighs, spreading them and securely settling it in. With a gasp, Watanuki tossed his head back at the pressure, more than he had ever experienced at another's doing before. Pushing his hips up, he sought more contact, more pressure, more friction, and Doumeki was only too happy to provide. With a soft grunt, Doumeki comfortably straddled one of Watanuki's legs, still leaving his own in it's place between Watanuki's, and rocked steadily into the boy's hip. Letting out a keening cry, Watanuki enthusiastically pushed back, sending them into a quick, sloppy pace of pushing and thrusting, anything to get more contact, more skin, more pleasure.

Watanuki soon came to realize that for every laboured intake of breath, it was quickly let out again with an embarrassing, shuddering, whimpering moan. Thankfully, Doumeki didn't seem to be in the mindset of making fun of him. In fact, Doumeki didn't seem to be in the mindset of anything other than loosing himself in the feeling of their bodies fluidly rubbing and arching against eachother. Inspired, Watanuki lifted and spread his legs a bit, trying to push things a little farther, just to see if doing so would make things even better. The two of them fell into an even deeper, fitted connection, and almost immediately Doumeki let out a low moan, bucking into the leg of Watanuki's that he was currently riding. Watanuki had the decency to blush. Whoops. Hadn't meant to do that.

"Watanuki… please…" Doumeki panted with another slow grind, eyes closed tight as he hung his head about an inch away from Watanuki's. Short, damp strands of dark hair fell into his face, and Doumeki looked just so lost in the moment that Watanuki felt himself getting pulled in too.

"Yes…" Watanuki hissed through clenched teeth as Doumeki's hand snaked down to wrap around their erections, running fingers along the slick flesh and teasingly ghosting over the heads. Really, Watanuki had no idea what he was agreeing to, only that whatever they had been doing so far had been _extremely _pleasurable, and whatever else Doumeki could be planning must also run in that same vein.

"Thank you…" Watanuki could vaguely head Doumeki whisper in response before placing a delicate kiss to the smaller boy's lips, and in fact the hushed reply had been so soft that Watanuki wondered if it had even been spoken aloud at all, or if he had just imagined it. In any case, he was soon disappointed to feel Doumeki's hand leave their arousals and his lips leave Watanuki's mouth, only to be replaced by the fingers of that hand being placed to the lips that had been being kissed a moment before. "You're going to have to suck on these…"

Watanuki only had the vaguest idea of what this was for, but he knew well enough not to question it and cause awkwardness and embarrassment and spoil the mood. Opening his mouth, he accepted the fingers, wrapping his lips and tongue around them and laving at them. A indistinguishable, slightly bitter taste assaulted his taste buds, and he belatedly realized where Doumeki's hand had previously been, and what that taste must be. It was almost enough for him to splutter in shock and discontinue his task of covering the digits in saliva, but for some reason the realization caused a tightening in his gut that was far from unpleasant. Perhaps it was perverse, but for some reason that taste in his mouth, coming from Doumeki's fingers was just the slightest bit arousing.

Before long Doumeki pulled his fingers away, a thin string of saliva connecting them to Watanuki's parted lips for a moment more before it broke. Doumeki's lips were immediately covering Watanuki's once more, and Watanuki was almost distracted enough to not register the saliva coated fingers sneaking down to an entirely different part of his lower anatomy.

"Doumeki!" He gasped, breaking away from the kiss abruptly and looking both shocked and a little indignant. "What do you think you're –"

"Shh…" Doumeki shushed, placing another gentle kiss to Watanuki's mouth, effectively silencing him. "I promise to be careful."

And careful he was. Doumeki made sure to be attentive to each and every one of Watanuki's needs before his own, dutifully preparing the boy and giving ample adjustment time once he himself was fully seated. He was gentle and loving even when he got lost in the sensations of their connection, and as Watanuki got more and more comfortable with the situation, he found that he too was able to get lost, mind going blank as his body responded to every touch, every kiss, every push from Doumeki. The older boy reveled in the moment, almost reverent, and murmured Watanuki's name repeatedly, as if it was the only think he could think to say, the only thing that mattered. Watanuki let out a keening cry when he heard a whispered "I love you" among the chants of his name, and he came undone. Brilliant, white-hot sparks went off before his vision, and he felt the tight coiling that had been building up in the pit of his gut snap as he spilled himself between their sweat slicked stomachs, calling out Doumeki's name as he came.

Somewhere in his euphoric state he heard Doumeki's answering outcry, and he felt the older male release into him, flooding him with warm wetness. It was a little sordid, the realization of what and where it was, but that was overwritten by the fact that it was Doumeki who had done it, who had filled and claimed him in the most primal, physical way. A moment later and Doumeki was carefully collapsing on top of him, even in his post-coital haze being mindful of the fact that he didn't want to smoosh the smaller boy with his greater weight. They simply lay there for a few endless minutes, collecting themselves and reveling in the afterglow, before Doumeki grunted, shifting them so that they lay facing eachother as he pulled Watanuki into his arms.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and Watanuki was too dazed to snap at him to stop asking that. And really, it was kind of sweet. Endearing, in a slightly annoying way.

"Nnhmm." Watanuki murmured back in affirmation, burying his face into Doumeki's chest. He was tired, he was little sore, he was most likely going to flip out in the morning, but for now he was content to simply lay there in Doumeki's arms and fuzzily drift in and out of consciousness.

**.x.X.x.**

Watanuki wasn't used to waking up anywhere other than his own slightly lumpy, slightly cold, and very empty bed. Therefore, to wake up feeling very not alone, very not cold, and very… well, still a little lumpy, was something that momentarily threw him completely out of whack. His muggy senses trying their best to catch up with him as he woke, Watanuki blinked a few timed to get his bearings, slightly confused when all he could see surrounding him was a mess of blankets and lots and lots of bare skin.

Oh crap!

Trying to pull away and sit up as last night's events came flooding back to him, Watanuki found himself unable to move more than an inch out of the hold Doumeki had on him, wrapped into the stronger male's arms and tangled in blankets. Okay then, he was just going to have to do his thinking here. Doumeki slumbered on, unaware of Watanuki's wakefulness and impending mental breakdown, and Watanuki grew slightly annoyed at the older male's obliviousness. How was he supposed to have a proper flip out if he felt too bad about waking up his slumbering partner? How irritating.

Doumeki murmured something in his sleep that sounded like Watanuki's name, shifting slightly and pulling the smaller boy closer to himself. Watanuki frowned as an embarrassed flush overcame his cheeks. They were still both painfully obviously without clothing, and Watanuki was feeling sore in placed he'd rather not think about. And it was all this dumb oaf's fault.

"Mmmn… Watanuki."

The older boy shifted in his sleep once again, pulling Watanuki closer still. Unless Watanuki was very much mistaken, he was pretty sure he could feel the beginnings of a morning erection forming, and Doumeki was drooling all over his pillow in his sleep. Suddenly all traces of annoyance were wiped away, even if only for the moment, and Watanuki smiled, thinking back to what that fortune teller woman had told him that day in her shop. The vision of his future, of his fate, had been that he would meet Himawari, and that _through_ her he would find love. So… apparently that just didn't mean he would find love _with_ her, like Watanuki had always imagined it had meant. '_But maybe…'_ Watanuki though, smiling as he curled up into Doumeki's hold '_Maybe she was still right. I guess I just wasn't opening my eyes enough to see what was right in front of my face all along.'_

Sighing contentedly as Doumeki gave a light snore, Watanuki closed his eyes. He might not go so far as to call it love, but because of his misplaced affections in Himawari he had found… _something._ And for now, that was enough.

_Hindsight is always 20/20_, Watanuki mused. _And it_ _seems like every time it leaves you wondering why you didn't see it coming all along._

**The End**


End file.
